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It's not an Addiction, ... it's a Disease .....

FordDude

Well-Known Dude
Staff member
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It started out innocently. I began to think at parties to loosen up and get in the mood.

Inevitably one thought led to another; soon I was more than a social thinker.

I began to think alone "to relax," I told myself.

Thinking became an obsession with me; soon I was thinking all the time.

Things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the TV and asked my wife what did she think? She spent that night at her mother's.

Next I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking on a union job was bad, but couldn't stop.

At lunchtime I read Thoreau, Muir, Camus and Kafka. I'd return to work confused, asking, "What exactly are we are doing?"

One day the boss called me in. He said, "It hurts to say this, but your thinking is a problem. If you don't stop I'll have to let you go."

That gave me a lot to think about. I went home early and confessed to my wife: "I've been thinking..." "I know you've been thinking," She said, "I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, it's not that serious, I said."

"It's very serious," she replied, and getting worse. "You think like a teacher, and they don't make any money. If you keep thinking, we'll be poor!"

"That's a fallacious syllogism," I thought, and said so.

She burst into tears, but I was in no mood to deal with drama. "I'm going to the library," I snarled, and stomped out the door in the mood for some John Locke.

I drove blindly to the library with NPR on the radio, and ran to the glass doors. They wouldn't open; the library was closed.

To this day, I believe a Higher Power was looking out for me then, because peering through the door a poster caught my eye. "Is thinking ruining your life?" it said.

You may recognize that line. It comes from a Thinkers Anonymous poster.

This is why today I am a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a frivolous video; last week it was "An Inconvenient Truth".

Then we tell how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. We comfort each other as crises arise.

Life became easier when I stopped thinking. My recovery is nearly complete. Today I took the final step. I became a democrat.

fd
 
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