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Most definitely politically incorrect, racist and offensive jokes

scedd

Well-Known Member
Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans. I said, “Fuck that – knowing my luck, I’d win one!�
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Pauline Hanson called a pest controller to her fish and chip shop to get rid of a plague of rats. After speaking to her, he pulled out a flute and started to play. The rats followed him down to the river and drowned.
“That’s fucking brilliant!� said Pauline, “Can you play the didgeridoo?�
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Recession beater. Wife says to husband, “If you cycle to work, we can get rid of the second car.� He replies, “If you take it up the arse and let me cum on your face, we can get rid of the nanny!�
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Japanese farmers reckon they’re doing it tough? BULLSHIT! I seen one farm on TV and the prick had two huge boats and about 20 cars in his front yard!
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What’s the difference between a refugee and ET?
ET looked better, smelled better, learnt English, didn’t claim benefits, had his own fucking bike and wanted to go home!
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Got this text from my brother recently. It read. “Can I stay at your house for a while? My missus kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock. It just reaches the back of her sister’s throat!�
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Was shagging this bird over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!�
Thinking back, I really should have legged it – but you don’t get offers like that every day.
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God visits a man and tells him he must give up smoking, drinking and sex if he wants to get into Heaven. The man says he’ll try. God visits him a week later to see how he’s getting on. “Not bad� says the man, “I’ve given up drinking and smoking, but when the wife bent over the freezer, I had to fuck her up the arse.� “They don’t like that sort of thing in Heaven� said God. The man replied, “They’re not too fucking happy about it in Woolworths either!
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Sorry for not calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching the fuck out of this bloke at a party.
In my defence….. when you hear an Arab counting down from 10, your instincts kick in.
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Why are aspirins white? Because they work.
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How does every ethnic joke start? With a look over your shoulder.
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My wife just came in to me and said, “I don’t know if I am coming or going.�
I said to her, “Judging by the look on your face, you’re going – ‘cos when you’re coming, you look like a fucking Down Syndrome kid trying to whistle!�
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I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.
Last night I rooted a sheila called Penny – spooky or what?
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The missus asked me, “When you’re on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?�
Apparently “Only to stop myself coming too quickly� wasn’t the right answer.
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My wife is pissed off with me again. I crept into the bedroom last night and swapped her tampon for a party popper. No sense of humour.
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When asked in a recent survey, 90 per cent of Australian men responded that their most memorable and joyous moment in life was being present at the birth of their first-born child….
Obviously none of them have ever seen an abo being run down by a road train.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

After I read "abo being run down by a road train", I got a mental image of that...I laughed harder.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

It is Okay if women fake orgasms, because men can fake a whole relationship.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

"Antlerfiend" said:
It is Okay if women fake orgasms, because men can fake a whole relationship.

Damn, never thought of it that way.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

How come Mexico doesn't have a Summer Olympic Team? Because all of them that can run, jump or swim are in the United States.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

"Antlerfiend" said:
How come Mexico doesn't have a Summer Olympic Team? Because all of them that can run, jump or swim are in the United States.

lmao
 
Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Seems that I heard a version of that one before. :roll

"FordDude" said:
Just had a bloke at the door asking if I wanted to buy raffle tickets for black orphans. I told him with my luck I'd probably win one.

fd

fd
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

What is the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walkin.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

"Antlerfiend" said:
What is the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walkin.

Coffee + electronics = sparks. Damnit.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

lmfao at Antlerhead
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

A Priest and a Rabbi were walking through a park and they see a group of boys playing football. The Priest looks at the Rabbi and says " Why don't we go over there and fuck one of those boys" The Rabbi looks at him and asks " Out of what?"
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

And he calls himself a democrat...................BULLSHIT.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

I am registered Democrat, but I hunt, I have a wife and I have gas guzzling cars. I don't know what that makes me. :shrug
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

An Old man and his wife are walking around the fair checking out livestock, when they come across a bull with a sign that says, This bull bred 52 times last year. The old lady says to her husband " You could learn something from that bull. That is once a week." They walk to the next bull and the sign in front of him says. This bull bred 165 times last year. The wife says " You could really learn something from this bull. That is more than three times a week." They come to the last bull and the sign in front of him said. This bull bred 365 times last year. So the wife says " This is the one you need to learn from. That is once a day." The old man then nudges his wife and says. " Go ask him if it was all with the same cow."
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

"Antlerfiend" said:
I am registered Democrat, but I hunt, I have a wife and I have gas guzzling cars. I don't know what that makes me. :shrug


Dazed and Confused!
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Dazed and Confused. Excellent movie. My last joke must not have been offensive enough, so here it goes.
What is the difference between Jews and pizzas? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.



What did the lady at the beach say to Micheal Jackson? Could you back up, you are in my son.
 
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