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People who think they know it all?

R

RustyRed

Active Member
Dave,

As back story....I just came from my Mom's house since I had to run by at lunch and fix something. I had the displeasure of having to deal with my older sister who is mid 40's, has a masters degree but can't seem to hold a job. So she is still sponging off Mom. All she does all day is sit on her fat ass basically.

I started wondering something and hoping you might have some insight.

Why is it that the biggest losers who can't even find gainful employment are always the ones that think they know all about everything?

I figure if she is really that smart couldn't she apply some of this vast wealth of knowledge she seems to believe she posses to find a job, get a life and stop sponging off our Mom (i.e. spending our inheritance?)
 
I've found that know it alls are compensating for knowing nothing.
 
She MUST know it all - I mean, she gets to sit on her fat ass all day with no worries, while you're out working your butt off... Who's the smart one??? :char :roul :rant :nut :confu
 
"RustyRed" said:
Why is it that the biggest losers who can't even find gainful employment are always the ones that think they know all about everything?
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I think you just answered your own question... nobody wants to put up with the BS!
 
Why is it that the biggest losers who can't even find gainful employment are always the ones that think they know all about everything?
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Fortunately for me I'm not qualified to answer your question. I don't know one single person who is unemployed.

I'll give it a shot anyway.....

The only advice I can give you is to avoid people who are unemployed, especially those who are employable, but choose not to be. We can't "fix" these people, family or not. They've made the choice to be worthless members draining our society. You need to make the same selfish choice and remove them from your circle.

Are you sure that the underlying problem isn't so much that your sister is unemployed and opinionated, but moreso that she's dwindling your share of an inheritance? Your mom's money/assets are just that, your mom's... not your "potential inheritance". Your mom has chosen to use her money to support her daughter. Just as you've chosen to own a classic Mustang... and more recently a TransAm. Would you want your kids ten years from now to come to you and tell you how to spend your money so that it doesn't negatively impact their future inheritance? If your sister and your mom are happy with the current situation, live and let live buddy.
 
"daveSanborn" said:
If your sister and your mom are happy with the current situation, live and let live buddy.
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I pretty much have. My other sister and I got on Mom's case some time ago about how if she continues to enable negative behavior then the negative behavior is going to continue. Mom makes a million and one excuses for the loser and frankly lacks the guts to confront the issue.

So I told Mom she is not doing my sister any favors by continuing the be an enabler and that if something ever happens to Mom the loser is not living under my roof and pretty much washed my hands of the whole deal.

I was just curious how the true idiots of the world seem to think they are the smartest people they know...
 
You're fortunate in one respect in that this is a sibling--pray it's never one of your offspring. Tough love is just as tough on the parent.
 
"RustyRed" said:
I pretty much have. My other sister and I got on Mom's case some time ago about how if she continues to enable negative behavior then the negative behavior is going to continue. Mom makes a million and one excuses for the loser and frankly lacks the guts to confront the issue.

So I told Mom she is not doing my sister any favors by continuing the be an enabler and that if something ever happens to Mom the loser is not living under my roof and pretty much washed my hands of the whole deal.

I was just curious how the true idiots of the world seem to think they are the smartest people they know...
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You're not alone.

My youngest brother (40+ years old) is in a very similar situation with my mother, except he's employed and he knows he's not the sharpest tool in the toolshed. He lives with his family in a separate house 15 feet from my mother's house. He wakes up in the morning and walks next door to have mommy make his breakfast and then drive him to work. He lost his ability to legally drive after his third DUI. My mom caters to his every whim. She's partially retired (still works part-time mostly to stay active), but focuses most of her daily routine around making life as easy as possible for him. My brother and his dingbat wife have gone through 3-4 new vehicles in the last dozen years.... all bought with the assistance of my parents. They "don't have time" to do things like "check the oil", so the condition of these vehicles rapidly deteriorates. The car(s) eventually stops working and mommy buys them another one. Remove "car" from the above statement and replace with ANY material object. He's the only idiot I know that went through three 50" flat screen TV's in less than a week.

I blame my mother for my brothers irresponsibility/stupidity and I've had this conversation with her on many occasions.

I've written off my yougest brother.... and my other brother is running a close second (alcoholic/drugs).

This was not a decision I made easily. I tried for years to help him, but in the end realized that the longer I stayed "in", the greater chance I had of sinking with him. He would just keep taking and taking until I had nothing left to give and then he would move on to the next enabler. Occasionally my mom will drag me into the mayhem, but I'm very leary of commiting myself to anything other than a few minutes of my time. For instance, as I type this there is a Dewalt skill saw sitting on the floor just inside my front door. Mom called me over the weekend to ask if "she" could borrow my skill saw. I asked her WTF she was going to do with it, knowing full well that it was my idiot brother who needed it and not her. She fessed and up and told me that it was for my brother. I asked her what happened to his saw and she said it was broken, but she was going to buy him a new one soon. I then asked her exactly what was wrong with it and she tells me the power cord has been cut in half. I told her to bring the saw to me and I'd spice a new cord onto it. She hesitated because she'd already promised to buy him a new saw, but relented when I convinced her the saw would be as good as new in less than 5 minutes.

I've talked with my mother for hours/days/years about how although she has good intentions, she has forever ruined any chance my brother had to succeed in life. When her time is up, he is royally screwed.... and I refuse to let him take me down with him.
 
Read this and wanted to jump in. I have a sister that drives me crazy. She too was unemployed as well as her husband. At one point they lived in a car somewhere in California while her child was being raised here by all of us. She dropped her child off one day about 9 years ago and split town with a car of mine. Drugs, alcohol , you name it.

She has mooched from my mom so long that I gave up. About two years ago she moved back here and her husband got a job at the local ballpark. We helped them with an apartment and they are actually providing for themselves. But she too knows all. Her husband now doesn't work and she doesn't work. They decided college would be there answer and since they get grants, they just live a carefree life with no job and getting super educated by our government all the while taking drugs and drinking themselves silly.

What a roller coaster :roul
 
My sister doesn't drink or anything along those lines.

She's just flat out lazy and has zero clue re: the real world.

She has a master's degree in English.

I recall a conversation we had when she was in college and I was still in hs, I was about 17 years old at the time. She told me she was majoring in English but didn't want to teach. I asked what exactly then was it she planned to do with a degree in English? She said you can get jobs being an editor, etc. I asked again what exactly did SHE plan to do with that degree in the real world? Sad that as a 17 yo kid I had more of a clue about the real world then she does even now.

For a semester she had what could have been a really good gig at the local community college teaching an English 101 type class. The problem is she rode the students really hard and acted like they were going for their PhD in English. In that class she probably had "Joe the welder" going back to get his associates degree so he could make supervisor, etc. I never thought those teacher evaluations they gave you at the end of the semester meant anything but apparently they do since all the students ripped her a new one and her contract didn't get renewed.

The least she could do since she is on the computer all day (except for nap and TV show breaks) is write a novel or something. Who knows, maybe she could be the next Stephen King or Daniel Steel or something, LOL!
 
"daveSanborn" said:
You're not alone.

...They "don't have time" to do things like "check the oil...He's the only idiot I know that went through three 50" flat screen TV's in less than a week.
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I LMAO.

Every family has one just like this; each side of our family has a member that is on the "subsistance living" program whereby the absolute minimum work to maintain life is accomplished.

Look Honey, we're not alone! All these other guys have got'em too!
 
I've got a dipshit BIL that's the same. In and out of jail for stalking, drugs, and domestic violence. Mid 30's, never had a decent job. The last time he got out of jail, he went right back to his old habits. Since he's unskilled pothead/meuth user, the only jobs he would qualify for all have drug testing. Still lives with, and mooches off, his mommy and daddy. They both know they enable him, but would feel guilty kicking him out. Thus, the cyclical dynamic of dysfunction will continue forever.

I went thru the stage of helping him on this feet. Called in a few favors to get him some decent legal representation. I gave him furniture, put a deposit on an apartment, ..etc. I was sure to tell him I was only going to help him one time. He pissed that opportunity away. When he asked him for more $ I said no way. I can sleep at night because I tried to help him once and told him that was all I would do.

It's a shame because he's a smart guy and very talented musician. He could be a professional. Instead he's very good at dispensing unsolicited advise and blaming his lawyers, parents, cops, and abused ex-girlfriends for his problems. No accountability. Thank God he's never fathered any kids.

I'm 100% positive there's one of these in every family.
 
I guess mine is my douchebag uncle. Always drunk or hopped up on blow, beat my aunt, burnt down their house for an insurance claim, blame everyone for his problems instead of looking in a mirror, and an all around pompous a-hole. He always felt like he was the center of everyone's universe. He had an opinion on everything, didn't matter if he knew what he was talking about. I haven't heard or seen him in well over 15-20 years. He disappeared after they got a divorce. Hell, he might be in jail or dead. Either way, I could care less about the SOB.
 
Well, I really don't have anyone currently that fits the SOB bill....so it must be ME!
 
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