Fast68back
Guest
Had to post this one cuz I laughed my ass off reading it.....
1964 Ford Falcon Futura
This car will solve all your problems and is available today for $ cash money on the barrel.
When I turned 16 in 1982, I wanted a Mustang convertible. Most of the best Mustangs in town were $5,000 and they weren’t even in mint condition. My mom ran into Mr. Lewis from Lewis Ford on Summer at a Tigers b-ball game (go Keith Lee!) and he said he had a Falcon in the showroom for $3,000. I had never heard of a Falcon, but we went over there and bought it that day. I cut yards all summer to pay for this bad boy. It was pure pussy then & it’s still pure pussy 26 years later.
If you want the car of your dreams, call the # below. The price is not negotiable so if you can’t afford it, don’t call. Don’t call to talk car shop because a) I won’t understand what you’re talking about & b) I don’t really care. Really, I don’t. Don’t call to tell me about the Falcon you bought in 1966 for 300$. Don’t call to talk about the time you & your high school buddy raced Falcons in Macon, Georgia, at the drag strip. I’m too busy & I really don’t care. If you can’t afford the car & still want it, get a second job or work harder at your current job and ask for a raise. I’m not selling it for less than $ k. I will, however, sell it for more, but I won’t spend more than 3 minutes on the phone with anyone about this car. If you want it and can afford it, call me and set up an appointment. If you then like it after seeing it (& any live human would), pull out $ grand or a cashier’s check and you can enjoy it for the next 26 years as I have for the past 26 years.
About the car: As you can see from the pics, the body is in great shape. There are a few nicks here and there. There is a small dent in the back bumper that needs to be fixed. There is a bullet indention from when I left the car with my crazy mechanic on Lamar Ave. twelve years ago. (Someone shot a bullet in the air & it landed on the front hood (see photo) and my mechanic never had it fixed. He’s in jail now for murder, but that is another story. He probably should have fixed the dent. See what happens? Bad karma). It needs a new paint job—I’ve had it done twice since I owned it—to put it in car show level shape. The last paint job was about 10-12 years ago at that place on Union down the street from Don’s Upholstery (who put my 1st replacement top on—those guys are the most expensive in town, by the way). The steering wheel needs to be replaced as it has cracks in it. The fuel pump has occasional problems the likes of which I can’t fix or describe (I’m not a mechanic, but I know some great ones in town). You will need to address this fuel pump problem. It also needs light electrical work like fixing the blinker so it will turn off after you turn. No big deal there. The trunk is a little dirty, but you won’t be sleeping in there, hopefully. The original cover for the new convertible top is old, ripped, & needs to be replaced (see photo). The two back windows do not currently roll down, but a little elbow grease & know-how could fix this. The “L� in F A L C O N is missing.
The original straight six, 170 engine was replaced about 12 years ago by a 1982 Mustang engine. I don’t know anything else about the engine since I’m not a gearhead. I have also replaced the transmission once. It drives better now than when I bought it. I replaced the top with a new one about a year ago. There is new carpet in both the front & back. Back carpet is a little newer. Seats in front & back have been refurbished and are both extremely comfortable and gorgeous. There is an am/fm/cd player stereo in the glove compartment and stereo speakers in the front doors. I got it with 3,000 miles on it approximately (I’m assuming it was 103,000 miles at the time). I put about 100,000 miles on it since I bought it in 1982.
What’s great about this car? Everything! Everyone who sees it loves it. Everyone who rides in it loves it. You draw a lot of attention on the road. It is a freakin’ blast to drive on a warm spring or fall day with the top down & the tunes up. The car rules. America used to make cool shit. You can have a little of that James Dean-used-to-be-a-contender stuff rub off on you if you can come up with the money & buy this piece of American history. This car has been featured in photo shoots & record covers for Sub Pop (Grifters Queen of the Table Waters 7�). Famous documentary maker Robert Gordon tricked me into renting it to him for a crappy reggae video. He brought it back dirty & muddy & never cleaned it. I didn’t make enough money on that to justify the hassle so I never let that shit happen again.
It’s springtime. Treat yourself and buy this classic. You are worth it. Call ( ) to check it out. (No checks: cash, cashier check, money order only).
1964 Ford Falcon Futura
This car will solve all your problems and is available today for $ cash money on the barrel.
When I turned 16 in 1982, I wanted a Mustang convertible. Most of the best Mustangs in town were $5,000 and they weren’t even in mint condition. My mom ran into Mr. Lewis from Lewis Ford on Summer at a Tigers b-ball game (go Keith Lee!) and he said he had a Falcon in the showroom for $3,000. I had never heard of a Falcon, but we went over there and bought it that day. I cut yards all summer to pay for this bad boy. It was pure pussy then & it’s still pure pussy 26 years later.
If you want the car of your dreams, call the # below. The price is not negotiable so if you can’t afford it, don’t call. Don’t call to talk car shop because a) I won’t understand what you’re talking about & b) I don’t really care. Really, I don’t. Don’t call to tell me about the Falcon you bought in 1966 for 300$. Don’t call to talk about the time you & your high school buddy raced Falcons in Macon, Georgia, at the drag strip. I’m too busy & I really don’t care. If you can’t afford the car & still want it, get a second job or work harder at your current job and ask for a raise. I’m not selling it for less than $ k. I will, however, sell it for more, but I won’t spend more than 3 minutes on the phone with anyone about this car. If you want it and can afford it, call me and set up an appointment. If you then like it after seeing it (& any live human would), pull out $ grand or a cashier’s check and you can enjoy it for the next 26 years as I have for the past 26 years.
About the car: As you can see from the pics, the body is in great shape. There are a few nicks here and there. There is a small dent in the back bumper that needs to be fixed. There is a bullet indention from when I left the car with my crazy mechanic on Lamar Ave. twelve years ago. (Someone shot a bullet in the air & it landed on the front hood (see photo) and my mechanic never had it fixed. He’s in jail now for murder, but that is another story. He probably should have fixed the dent. See what happens? Bad karma). It needs a new paint job—I’ve had it done twice since I owned it—to put it in car show level shape. The last paint job was about 10-12 years ago at that place on Union down the street from Don’s Upholstery (who put my 1st replacement top on—those guys are the most expensive in town, by the way). The steering wheel needs to be replaced as it has cracks in it. The fuel pump has occasional problems the likes of which I can’t fix or describe (I’m not a mechanic, but I know some great ones in town). You will need to address this fuel pump problem. It also needs light electrical work like fixing the blinker so it will turn off after you turn. No big deal there. The trunk is a little dirty, but you won’t be sleeping in there, hopefully. The original cover for the new convertible top is old, ripped, & needs to be replaced (see photo). The two back windows do not currently roll down, but a little elbow grease & know-how could fix this. The “L� in F A L C O N is missing.
The original straight six, 170 engine was replaced about 12 years ago by a 1982 Mustang engine. I don’t know anything else about the engine since I’m not a gearhead. I have also replaced the transmission once. It drives better now than when I bought it. I replaced the top with a new one about a year ago. There is new carpet in both the front & back. Back carpet is a little newer. Seats in front & back have been refurbished and are both extremely comfortable and gorgeous. There is an am/fm/cd player stereo in the glove compartment and stereo speakers in the front doors. I got it with 3,000 miles on it approximately (I’m assuming it was 103,000 miles at the time). I put about 100,000 miles on it since I bought it in 1982.
What’s great about this car? Everything! Everyone who sees it loves it. Everyone who rides in it loves it. You draw a lot of attention on the road. It is a freakin’ blast to drive on a warm spring or fall day with the top down & the tunes up. The car rules. America used to make cool shit. You can have a little of that James Dean-used-to-be-a-contender stuff rub off on you if you can come up with the money & buy this piece of American history. This car has been featured in photo shoots & record covers for Sub Pop (Grifters Queen of the Table Waters 7�). Famous documentary maker Robert Gordon tricked me into renting it to him for a crappy reggae video. He brought it back dirty & muddy & never cleaned it. I didn’t make enough money on that to justify the hassle so I never let that shit happen again.
It’s springtime. Treat yourself and buy this classic. You are worth it. Call ( ) to check it out. (No checks: cash, cashier check, money order only).
