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You've got to be kidding me....

daveSanborn

Active Member
First off.... I'm only posting this here instead of the Gum Flappers Lounge because I know that at some point I'm going to eventually lose control of my senses and probably use a few swear words. Swear words are acceptable in this lounge, not so much in Gum Flappers.


You have got to be FUCKING KIDDING ME!

Every couple of weeks we have a "team building" meeting towards the end of the work day at one of the local bars. It's usually the same 3-12 guys that show up and we get a chance to mingle socially away from the office. Sometimes we talk business, most of the time we're just drinking beer and shooting the shit.

One of the guys who shows up is a good friend of mine. Not my "best" friend, but in the top three. You may remember him dressed as the pirate from the Halloween pics I posted a couple months back. Today..... at our meeting.... one of the office hotties showed up and was hanging out with me and my pirate buddy. No big deal right? Office hottie says to my pirate buddy.... "so, I don't see you at the tanning salon much anymore, have you changed your days?"

What the fuck did she just say?

My buddy of almost 15 years uses a tanning bed?

How gay is that?

I proceeded to give my buddy shit for the next 30 minutes about using a tanning bed and am still astonished that a guy friend of mine would even consider something like this. Another friend of mine/ours came to his defense and tried to change the subject.

EPIC FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The conversation turned to the differnet types of massages available at the local day spa.... something about rocks vs. hot oil and the ability to choose whether or not you get your massage from a guy or a girl.


:barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf





:barf :barf :barf




a few dry heaves and then one more.....



:barf




Not that I'd ever be caught anywhere close to being inside a day spa, but if I were I can 100% guananfuckingtee you that there would be no choice to be made about some dude rubbing his hands on my back/ass/thighs.

NO FREAKING WAY!!!!!

Fast-forward one hour from leaving the bar....

My wife gets a text message from the office hottie asking for my pirate buddies cell phone number. I know exactly what she wanted it for.... to apologize to him for bringing up the whole tanning bed topic because I berated him into oblivion over it.

So I call my buddy first to see if it's okay if I give his cell number to office hottie. He says....

Him - "Sure, but don't tell my wife about it."

Me - "About what?"

Me - "About giving office hottie your phone number? Seriously?"

Him - "Yes, that and the whole meeting at the bar....."

Me - "What meeting? You mean our bi-monthly meeting?"

Him - "Yeah"

Me - "Does your wife not know that we meet at the bar a couple times a month for one hour and hang out?"

Him - "No, she wouldn't understand and I'd get shit from her over it."

Me - "Is this because office hottie showed up?"

Him - "No, she doesn't know about any of the meetings we've had for the past few months since we started doing it"

Me - " Okay, sure no problem, see you tomorrow."

Click.


ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Who the fuck is in such an insecure juvenile relationship that an argument would ensue if you meet your......99% of the time.... guy buddies from the office at the bar for 2 beers twice a month? We are at the bar usually less than an hour..... there are NO other patrons there besides us. The place is dead.... it's not like we're out chasing tail on a Saturday night twice a month... this is 4 to 5 PM.... on a Tuesday.

So as of today I'm looking for a new "team". The "team building" meeting has been very enlightening. I've learned that I'm officially on the prowl for new team-mates. As a matter of fact, office hottie seems pretty cool... we (my wife and I) have plans to go out partying with them for New Years Eve.

I expressed my concerns on this matter to my wife and she informs me that a LOT of our "run around with crowd" guy friends use tanning booths. Including office hottie's husband.... who as I recall also wears ear-rings in each ear.

:barf :barf....................... :barf

Son of a bitch..... he's crossed off the list before he even gets into "my circle".

I may have to broaden/expand my "new friends search" area.... maybe even requiring me to move to a different state. I understand that if I move to Texas I'll have to permanently remove the tailgate from my pickup truck, is this true? I can lose the tailgate if that's what it's going to take....

Do I just throw it away or what?
 
MBB III is just around the corner. Hang on. I'm right there with ya Dave. I don't get any of it. I do have to say this though. I'm not completely surprised that you were oblivious to what was going on. I mean, you did rent out part of your property to a homo and didn't realize it...even with his candles and stuff. No it doesn't make sense for these "guys" to be doing what they're doing. You just need to realize also that your senses to some of this stuff have been dulled so you need to start expecting the unexpected. Again, we'll be there for 'ya at MBB III. The only one I could see taking part in any of this would be Brian so don't be surprised if he confesses to a tanning bed session.
 
Man, I wish I could help answer the tailgate thing. I have barn doors on the Tahoe. Would look pretty fucking silly with them off. Not as silly as man-tanning, but fucking silly nonetheless.
 
I have heard that you can leave the tailgate on if it has been backed into a pole while in the lowered position.
 
Oh hell, wtf state have you got yourself into? :lol Move down here, no man-tans here or earrings. I still remember well when both of my boys started talking about getting an earring and I said go ahead...but when (and I don't mean if, but when) I get the freakin' urge to pull that damn thing off, it will just get snatched out. Shouldn't hurt too much or for too long, might bleed a little...lol. :beat ps, we do have a buck that you could "mount" if you feel so willing! :cry

Christmas2009003.jpg
 
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"daveSanborn" said:
I may have to broaden/expand my "new friends search" area.... maybe even requiring me to move to a different state. I understand that if I move to Texas I'll have to permanently remove the tailgate from my pickup truck, is this true? I can lose the tailgate if that's what it's going to take....

Do I just throw it away or what?

No, you see lots of trucks with tail gates here in Texas. My step dad and my boss both have the tail gates on their trucks. It's actually pretty rare that I see a truck without the tail gate though most folks these days to improve fuel economy have a bed cover of some sort.

Back when I had an F150 many years ago I removed my tail gate and put up one of the nets across the back but that was to help improve gas mileage and my tail gate was messed up anyway and didn't close properly.

If you're working cattle it's probably a good idea to remove it so you can attach the big three pronged fork that holds the bails of hay...but that would be a fairly small % of the overall population....most trucks like that stay on the ranch and are not legal for the road.
 
No matter what, just remember: I do consider you my friend. I do have one request and it is legitimate. Let your boy open the present. Seriously. There is nothing...."bad" and I think he would enjoy it. It would've been a different story if the box was a little bigger. I still have a set of "Jingle Jugs" sitting at the house.
 
Ok, so I guess they say curiosity killed the cat but Dave started me wondering.

When I went out to lunch I lost count at over 50 pick ups (about 26 in the parking garage here at work) and all of them had the tail gate on them so you are more than welcome to bring your tail gate with you if you choose to move.
 
"blue65coupe" said:
Hey Rusty, is your avatar the Kimber Custom Ultra Carry CDP II?

I've no idea...just liked the picture. Since I am one of those "right wing extremist" I figured a picture with a gun, a bible and the Constitution worked for me, LOL!
 
Thanks.

It is also to remind me that I am on the look out for a compact .45. I really like my .357 revolver and it is easy to conceal due to being snub nosed but thinking about adding a .45.

If I ever get around to taking my CHL class I want to qualify with a semi-auto but I don't really want a 9 mm due to lack of knock down power.
 
"RustyRed" said:
Thanks.

It is also to remind me that I am on the look out for a compact .45. I really like my .357 revolver and it is easy to conceal due to being snub nosed but thinking about adding a .45.

If I ever get around to taking my CHL class I want to qualify with a semi-auto but I don't really want a 9 mm due to lack of knock down power.

Consider the .40 - nearly the same knockdown in the 165+ grains, and huge choices in ammo & guns. I have 2 .40 glocks, love them.
 
"daveSanborn" said:
I expressed my concerns on this matter to my wife and she informs me that a LOT of our "run around with crowd" guy friends use tanning booths. Including office hottie's husband.... who as I recall also wears ear-rings in each ear.

I travel to TX all the time, we have a site outside Houston.

I regret to inform you that Houston at least is full of man-tan metros, many with two earrings. You're not safe anywhere. I suggest moving farther into the country away from even medium size cities, which are infected with metrosexuals rather than what the wife calls traditional men. Charlotte NC is fookin crawling with them.

All the guys I work with in TX have traditional redneck tans- ie, they work outside, earning more than most cube workers (>110k). And tailgates on their pickups, so no issues there.
 
Consider the .40 - nearly the same knockdown in the 165+ grains, and huge choices in ammo & guns. I have 2 .40 glocks, love them.

I have 2 Glocks in .40 and one in .45 and a colt 1911. I love them all! For carrying, I have a KAHR in .40. The thing is small enough to fit in the palm of my hand. I just put it in my pocket and the spare clip in the other pocket. If I am wearing a jacket I use my glock compact .40. Can't remember model number right now.

For the truck I carry the BFR 45/70.

Mel
 
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