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an oldie that is always funny!

F

Flysure1

Active Member
A beautiful young woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the man.
"I'm a sailor and we're off to Europe tomorrow and I can stow you away on my ship.
I'll take care of you, bring you food every day and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe, the woman accepted.
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold.
From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, some wine and make love to her until dawn.
Three weeks later, she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?", asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied.
"He brings me food and I get a free trip to Europe."
"I see," said the captain.
Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain.
"This is the Staten Island Ferry."
 
Another oldie that is always funny!

There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one
to marry, so he decides to give each one $5000 and see how each of them
spends it.

The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets
new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the
man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you
so much."

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a
television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought
these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."

The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles
her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She
says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love
you so much."

The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the
money...

.... He finally decided to marry the one with the biggest tits...


fd
 
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