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At 78 yrs., you shouldn't be on facebook!

carlizard

Active Member
Here you go... see if you can relate

A good laugh for people in the over 70 group !!!

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship...

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do fart a lot."

P.S. I know some of you are not over 70. I posted it so you'd know what you have to look forward to. I figured your sense of humor could handle it....

We seniors don't need anymore gadgets.

The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.
 
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well I'm not there yet...either in age or non-use of those devices. But I'm getting there.
 
... I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do fart a lot."

That was great, I cannot wait to use this.:rolleyes::p
 
"Gypsy, the GPS lady" Well that nickname would never have occurred to me. Also partly because I'm a young whippersnapper 50 year old techno nerd who happens to know that the correct name of my GPS's voice is Samantha and I also know how to swap her out in favor of the more James Bondish sounding British accented Emily. At one time I even had one of my GPS's hacked to play videos and MP3's. I was about to try and get it to run Windows as a mini tablet but I got distracted (SQUIRREL!) by a fancy Android phone. Or two.
I delegate all Facebook type of communication to my wife who couldn't work a computer at all and didn't want to as they were all technical and "icky". Until she found out that Facebook is the new version of the old neighborhood gossip fence. Now she's everything but a professional speed typist for the NSA.
 
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