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California Love Story....

Fast68back

Fast68back

Guest
A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend.
After having great sex ... She spent the next
hour just rubbing his testicles ...
Something she just loved to do.
As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her,
"Why do you love doing that?"
Because ... She Replied ....
"I Really Miss Mine"

California Love Story
 
:ep :scar :beat :lol :lol
Guess that I am going to have to find a good joke about texas to respond to this one. But it was funny though.

fd
 
A major network is planning the show "Survivor" this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style." The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I voted for Al Gore, and I'm here to confiscate your guns."

fd
 
You know you are in a Texas church when...

People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.

The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys stand up.

The restrooms are outside.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

When it rains, everyone is smiling.

Prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.

The choir group is known as the "OK Chorale".

The pastor wears boots.

Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.

There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.

Baptism is referred to as "branding".

There is a special fund raiser for a new septic tank.

Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.

High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.

People wonder, when Jesus fed 5000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish.

People think "rapture" is when you lift something too heavy.

The final words of the benediction are, "Ya'll come back now, ya hear?"

fd
 
Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood (one of whom was from Texas) were conversing on the porch swing of a large white pillared mansion. The first woman who was not from Texas said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me.

"The Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman continued "When my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive."

Again, the Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman boasted "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."

Yet again, the Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"

The Texas lady replied "My husband sent me to charm school."

"Charm school!" the first woman cried, "Land sakes, child, what on Earth for?"

The Texas lady responded, "So that instead of saying 'who gives a shit,' I learned to say, 'Well, isn't that nice?'"

fd
 
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