Do you or your spouse fart in bed? This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Randy was a cop and he attributed his "gas issues" with years of eating fast food on the go! Every morning, Betty would plead with Randy to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was, in fact, healthy to release his gas. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out and felt his daily gas discharge was not normal. The years went by and he continued to let loose under the sheets.
Then one Thanksgiving morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his boxers and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she thought she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, Randy came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.� “What do you mean?� asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it really did happen, but by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…….............…..�
Randy was a cop and he attributed his "gas issues" with years of eating fast food on the go! Every morning, Betty would plead with Randy to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was, in fact, healthy to release his gas. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out and felt his daily gas discharge was not normal. The years went by and he continued to let loose under the sheets.
Then one Thanksgiving morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his boxers and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she thought she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, Randy came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.� “What do you mean?� asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it really did happen, but by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…….............…..�