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How about some friday humor?

F

Flysure1

Active Member
BARTENDER JOKE OF THE WEEK

A lady went into a bar in Austin and saw a cowboy with his feet
propped up on a table. He had the biggest feet she'd ever seen.

The woman asked the cowboy if it's true what they say about men
with big feet. The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady!
Why don't you come on out to the bunk house and let me prove it
to you?"

The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night
with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.

Blushing, he said, "Well, thank ya Ma'am. I'm real flattered.
Ain't nobody ever paid me fer my services before."

"The woman replied, "Don't be flattered ...take the money and buy
yourself some boots that fit."
 
Two women friends had gone out for a girls night out, and had been overenthusiastic on the cocktails.

Incredibly drunk and walking home, they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very close to a graveyard, and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with, so she took off her panties, used them, and threw them away. Her friend however, was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day, the first woman's husband phones the other husband and says, "These girls' nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, "From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you!"
 
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