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How do I respond to a woman and her big a$$.

DEL65

DEL65

Of The Morons
Every now and then I have to visit the regional office for ridiculously lame meetings. I usually run into former department colleagues, and one of my former female bosses, who I like and respect, has put on a few pounds. I don't care about her appearance, because she's no prize to look at.

Last week, she was bent over a low filing cabinet and I had to squeeze past her. As I approached, she said "Hi John, I hope my big a$$ isn't in the way." I noodled through my responses, none were appropriate, so I just mumbled, looked like I was in a hurry, and got the hell out of there.

Question, Dave: What is the proper thing to say to my respected colleague whom I don't want to offend?
 
The first response that comes to my mind is

"I was thinking the same thing"
 
"Hi John, I hope my big a$$ isn't in the way."
Click to expand...

First off, by not being prepared you missed a really good opportunity. SMH


Working in an office setting with 90% women, what happened to you has happened to me on more than one occasion. It's best to have the "right" answer ready to use when the opportunity presents itself..... no one response covers all scenarios so you'll have to prepare a few different ones to cover different scenarios.

I'll run through a few different scenarios and give you some examples of responses I've given. The wrong answer in an office environment could adversely effect your career, so be careful!


In the case of a very large "bottom" on an otherwise unattractive female whom you don't wish to offend......

"Hi John, I hope my big a$$ isn't in the way."
Click to expand...


Nope, there's still enough room for me to squeeze by. This ackowledges her statement and tells her that you agree w/o being offensive.


Wow, does it have it's own ZIP Code? ....is a personal favorite, but should only be used when no-one else can hear you to avoid any career related backlash.


I think I can actually see a Twinkie..... again, be careful with this one.


That's okay, as we get older our bodies change, it's no big deal.... This one is great for the over 40 ladies, trust me, they'll love it!


If the rearend is on the large size, but the girl is fairly attractive and normally flirtatious, you could try.....


I've had larger. .... this leaves the door open for you to take advantage of in the future.



If the rearend is perfect (it doesn't matter what the girl looks like)....


Is that for me? Thanks!


Can I get that to go?


Does it do any tricks?


With most all of these responses it's best if they are not "announced" to the entire room. A simple lean in and whisper works best.
 
"daveSanborn" said:
First off, by not being prepared you missed a really good opportunity. SMH


Working in an office setting with 90% women, what happened to you has happened to me on more than one occasion. It's best to have the "right" answer ready to use when the opportunity presents itself..... no one response covers all scenarios so you'll have to prepare a few different ones to cover different scenarios.

I'll run through a few different scenarios and give you some examples of responses I've given. The wrong answer in an office environment could adversely effect your career, so be careful!


In the case of a very large "bottom" on an otherwise unattractive female whom you don't wish to offend......


Nope, there's still enough room for me to squeeze by. This ackowledges her statement and tells her that you agree w/o being offensive.


Wow, does it have it's own ZIP Code? ....is a personal favorite, but should only be used when no-one else can hear you to avoid any career related backlash.


I think I can actually see a Twinkie..... again, be careful with this one.


That's okay, as we get older our bodies change, it's no big deal.... This one is great for the over 40 ladies, trust me, they'll love it!


If the rearend is on the large size, but the girl is fairly attractive and normally flirtatious, you could try.....


I've had larger. .... this leaves the door open for you to take advantage of in the future.



If the rearend is perfect (it doesn't matter what the girl looks like)....


Is that for me? Thanks!


Can I get that to go?


Does it do any tricks?


With most all of these responses it's best if they are not "announced" to the entire room. A simple lean in and whisper works best.
Click to expand...

And to prevent further missed opportunities, have these reduced, laminated, and placed on a string around your neck... You can add you lawyers number to the opposite side...
 
i dont know what say if its too big, but its easy to tell if her ass is too small

howtotellifyourassistoo.jpg
 
"ClassicRecreations" said:
:rofl :rofl :dumas

Dave Thats some funny stuff. I showed my wife these answers. Your in trouble
J/K
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You're kidding about showing them to your wife, or that Dave is in trouble because you did so?
 
Dave Thats some funny stuff. I showed my wife these answers. Your in trouble
Click to expand...

What else is new? If I had a nickel for every wife that I've pissed off... I'd go buy me another beer.
 
I would have politely said, "can you please stand straight up, with you bent over it is like trying to pass a truck in a tunnel" :lol
 
i had a similar thing happen a few years back. she was wearing pants, which caused a little crack to show while bent over, so i dropped a quarter in. when she jumped up & turned around, pretty startled i might add, i politely said "sorry, i thought that was the new jukebox"....
 
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