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Kids with ADHD...Ugh.

blu67

blu67

Well-Known Member
Our younger son, Griffin has been diagnosed with extreme ADHD. For the better part of 2010, we have tried different medicines to try to get his energy to lower a bit and his attention to be focused more. Laurie and I always said that if his mood ever changed and he just wasn't the same, we'd move on to something else. We just need to stop the literal bouncing off the walls and lack of focus in school.
First meds made him "depressed"....horrible, NO GOOD.
Second meds worked well....for a time until he started getting in trouble in school and going to the principals office for disturbing the class all the time.
Third meds caused him to have trouble sleeping and have "vivid nightmares"...dreams that seem real....GREEEEAT......NO GOOD.

We have to keep him med free until the next appt. on the 8th. Now that's fun!....NOT! His behavior, no matter how much we are aware that he can't help or control it, causes so much stress with Laurie and I. It's just crazy. Our 8 year old, while he knows whats going on, surely can't understand why mommy and daddy are at our wits end with his brother. Poor kid. His brother won't stop tormenting him.....and they unfortunately share a room.

4 days to go until the Dr. appt........he was up until 11pm last night because he couldn't stop moving to relax and sleep...and that was AFTER a 3 hour energy filled trip to the park and a long walk with the dogs!

Some of you may disagree with our use of medication or maybe you don't believe in ADHD. That's fine. You are allowed your opinion. We have tried various methods and diets to help but have had no luck. We can probably handle him at home, but the disturbances at school needs to be dealt with. His teacher says that he seems to be at grade level in terms of knowledge and skills (when he can focus) but he just can't seem to focus long enough to complete work (he draws cars on his worksheets) or be able to discern when it is time to be loud (outside versus in class) and distracts the class.

I guess I just wanted to vent. Sorry. I guess I was just wondering if anyone else had ADHD kids and what your experiences were/are.

Wish us luck for the next few days...... :pbj
 
IMO
Try to find a sport activity that kills his energy. Swimming takes alot off energy.Running at a track.Join a atlethic club.
You need to worn him down but at the same time be sure not to break him down fysically.
Try to reduce the medicine to a absolute minimum.He is too young.Try alternative med based on natural products.
I am not a MD and yes , this topic is also welcome to this forum.
We are people who love mustangs but also love the human being and all his problems that comes with it.
B.
 
Our son was the same. We tried all the sports, and he squared off on me one day after karate class when he was mad.....told him to male it good.....he never swung. We went the medication route trying everything and as you said......major problems with them all. You just had the choice of "pick your poison". We did find some relief in diet control. It took time but my wife documented every food he ate and the following actions. We found red die, bananas, and yellow die effected him the most. Some foods maybe such a change that when shopping, he would read the labels and tell us what he could have. Fast food was a killer for him.

He is 33 now and still knows what sets him off and controls it with no meds.

Hang in there and take some time for you and the wife.....alone.....it helps.
 
From what i have seen and heard the biggest problem is any food that has numbers in the ingredient list.
Try to keep as natural as possible.
Good luck
 
Pete,
That's a very good idea and though we all realize that what you did for your son might not apply for Chris & Laurie's situation at least they can can look into it to see if it may help.
 
That's it....on things like this, the more info one has, the better one can find things that help. It is so much trial and error, even for the doctors.
 
I like the idea of sport related activities but unfortunately, his lack of focus on anything would make most forms of traditional sports or sport-like activity (like karate) would prove useless. He's 5. Yes, they have a lot of energy. But he also ignores, defies, "forgets" or argues against pretty much everything. Like I said, Laurie and I could handle the crazy activity at home but it is most of his day at school that needs to be addressed. He won't listen to the teacher (unless on meds) and when he does, his focus wanes and he's off again. It's stressing her out and interrupting the other 20 or so kids in her class. It isn't fair to them either.

We want the best for him and are just hoping for a little relief for everyone.
 
You situation sounds so much like our sons position. At 5, our son was cussing at the teachers, would not listen to any rules, and was kicked out of kindergarten for being disruptive. He was transferred to different teachers until we found one that would work with us. Yes, it is hard on others around him but where is the line drawn. Our son was even asked not to come back to a catholic school in the 6th grade or so. The father said he had never heard such words. At one point, we tried some psyc consoling for him. He went "over the wall there and we had to pick him up at the sheriff's office. Later we tried a military school in Kansas. He was known as the first to "escape" from the school and evaded the local law for two weeks in the winter in Kansas. He was 12 I think. He flat out defied anyone who told him what to do.

Our experience was wicked to say the least. Our son could cut to the bone with words and the next thing he said was just so sweet. Just do not give up on him. I don't even want to think about the number of nights my wife cries herself to sleep because of this.

We had a perfect daughter, and a wild son. Both raised with the same guidelines and this was in the 70's and 80's when the doctors had a hard time believing in ADHD.

Again, take some time now and again for the two of you and be sure you and the better half talk.....all the time so you are on the same page with him. You might even look into someone for you to share with...such as a minister or some other professional.....just as a place to vent and get private feedback.

Of course, this place works wonders as a venting place also.
 
Does the school have any resources for ADHD children? I know a few of the schools my children have gone to had classes specifically designed for children with ADHD with teachers that had experience with it and more knowledge in the subject matter. Compared to some teachers who sadly don't know squat about anything and think sitting the child in a time out is going to work. They also had I think referral to places for after school activities.
 
Chris


All though all out issues are certainly not the same, I can idenity with so much your saying. Our Youngest (Luke) has Padrer Willi-Syndrome) all though his issues include ADHD (Seems like constantly) we have a number or other things going on. As too school even with to days extreme budget cuts there are many things you may be able to get done that will help. Our son who is in full inclcuion school at this point has a one on one aid assigned to just him within the class. It took lots of effort on our
part and countless phone calls and letters and face to face meetings but at the end of the day you or more so your son is entitled to this type of assisting if need be.
Remember the Squeakier the wheel the more problems you create the more stones you uncover the better your chances are of getting this type of situation.

It has helped tremendously although we still have outburst and issues at school this are so much better but it has taken time and a few different aides. As to the meds I can not ad much we just recently started Luke on meds a few weeks ago and seems to help a bit but truthfully not certain we don't get more help from attending conferences on the Sydrome and speaking with other parents in groups about things they have found effective.

I guess the best advice I can give you is just like a twelve step program take it a day at a time. Some will be better than others some well we would all like to forget. Have you checked into respite care? We mostly don't use it but we are supplied a certain number of hours a quarter and at times it really helps just to get a couple hours away from situation when you can relax knowing someone capable is watching over your son.

I guess I could go on and on but perhaps if there are any more specific questions or issues you would like my input on feel free to PM sometimes just knowing your not alone with situations and no matter how made things seem others are experiencing same things helps.

Mark
 
Chris....best to you and all your family during this.

I have no advice to offer but support.
 
Thanks, everyone.
Yes we have looked into help that we call "a shadow" for his school. We have done the stuff we need to do, paperwork wise but the teacher just doesn't seem to do her part. She said she wants to try and see if it is needed....yeah, that's why she sends him to the principals office or another teachers room....(we don't feel that the teacher is the best for him but the principal doesn't seem to want to help. "My hands are tied", she says...)
We do understand the teachers side that she doesn't want the other kids to look at him differently if he has a shadow or think he is getting special treatment, buuuuut, what's best for him....?

During our recent parent/teacher meeting, his teacher said that she is going to fill out the forms for the one-on-one assistant and move forward. Meetings are next on deciding if it is necessary. Finally... We think a mix of a successful medicine, diet and one-on-one attention will help. The doctors say he will learn to manage it as he gets older and that much of the wild crazy activity will slow down by the time he reaches 7...December next year.

We're like you, Pete, one normal, adapted kid and the polar opposite.

We did find that research has found that adopted kids of young biological parents, like Griffin, many times have ADHD and the mother has undiagnosed ADHD. Makes sense when the mother seems to make poor, quick decisions (i.e. no condom, etc.) and find themselves in trouble. Our biological mother was 21 and Griffin was her 3rd kid.....
 
My parents were told (though never formally diagnosed) by a doctor that tested me that I was ADD. I was never particularly hyper, but certainly had (hell, have) a hard time paying attention and keeping my mind on task. Whatever is my current "thing" will dominate my thoughts and I have a hard time keeping myself straight.

I did ritalin for years and years, and the difference in my grades was tremendous. It really did help. As I grew older, I wanted to learn to manage my problems myself, and so I stopped taking it, and learned to work within the confines of my own limitations. Learned how to force myself to stay on task.

This was in High School and College...not when I was 5. I'm not suggesting your kid needs to learn to manage this himself right now :) Just relaying my own experiences.

As others have said, and as you well know, there's no "The Solution!" but rather a bunch of different things that you can try, in various ways, hoping that you'll find things that help. I did not like being medicated, but it probably helped me make it through elementary school and middle school. Do what feels right, and remember you will have to be your son's advocate. If your school's principal isn't getting the job done, then get ready to fight. If you have a medical diagnosis of a disability, and the school is not accommodating that adequately, you have options. I know a lot of people don't like that whole "take it to court" mentality we have in this country, but there's a reason courts exist...when people or organizations refuse to follow the law, you have the right to ask for redress. I know if my child was suffering, and not getting the help that he or she needed, I wouldn't hesitate to at least let the school district's attorney know that I knew my rights and wouldn't hesitate to exercise them.
 
"Bite Me" said:
Chris


It took lots of effort on our
part and countless phone calls and letters and face to face meetings but at the end of the day you or more so your son is entitled to this type of assisting if need be.
Remember the Squeakier the wheel the more problems you create the more stones you uncover the better your chances are of getting this type of situation.


Mark
Click to expand...

+1

Never dealt with ADHD...but both our boys have dyslexia. We raised enough of a stink that they finally got the boys extra tutoring at school for 30 minutes 4 days a week. The school doesn't want to go out of their way but if you are enough of a pita for them they will do what they are legally required to do.

With my boys....we were extremely fortunate and their eye doctor uncovered their dyslexia in 1st grade so they are doing great in school now. If you leave it to the school it doesn't get discovered much less addressed until 4th grade or later when they start repeating grades.

Hang in there and keep bugging the school for whatever concessions are lawfully allowed / required.
 
We definitely plan on bugging the school for what is needed...no question. I just hate that they have dragged their feet so much and it's already December.
The doctors have told us that he probably would want to stop taking the medication when he got older. We completely understand and feel that if he can adapt to work with the issues without meds, then that's fantastic. At the moment, trying to tell a 5 year old to do or stop anything is just plain funny...
 
Hope the best for you. I am not an expert but believe my yougest brother had/has adhd. He grew up in the 70's and my father just didn't get it. My brother was constantly yelled at by my father and treated poorly. Today my father would be in jail for what he did.

I believe the learning about diet will be tremendous in learning what tames this (to an extent). Also, working with your son to get him educated on his situation will be tremendous.

Have you considered home schooling him?
 
Wow, reading through this topic is like a re-run of what is going on right now with my 6 year old. We just started seeing a psychiatrist and have only had one visit so far. Chad is above average on all his tests, but for no apparent reason he just jumps up and runs around the class room, or screams at the teach and sits on the floor defiantly. He has a lot of self-imposed pressure to do good though, expressing concern about passing 1st grade, or being smart, and he complains all the time that the other kids in school don't like him and pick on him, but the teacher doesn't colloborate that at all. Its very frustrating.

My wife and I feel that the ADD/ADHD is diagnosed too often for normal hyper kids and are trying to avoid the medication route, but may end up giving that a try.

Pete, I like your suggestions about looking at the diet, I'll take a look at what we have in the fridge when I get home.
 
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