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Making amends

3175375

3175375

Well-Known Member
today after encouragement of several friends, I got together with my Dad for the first time in over 30 years. His health is deteriorating. I told him that he set my foundation for my success.

His health is deteriorating and I am happy I 'manned up' and visited him.

One of the hardest things to do after my parents went thru a horrific divorce in the late 80's.

The parting statement from me was 'you paved the way for me to be who I am and I am grateful as things have turned out well'

He melted..... All good!
 
Good for you!

I hope this will not be the last but rather the start of you finding the time to see him more often. Regardless of the past it will be good for both of you. You are fortunate to have the opportunity. My father dropped dead one morning when I was still a very young man. Case of a "healthiest guy anyone knew" just gone. Not a sign of a problem. As a very young guy this shattered my world. He never got the chance to know or even meet my kids. I was a kid just starting out in a dead end factory job making barely above minimum wage. Not showing a whole lot of go get 'em attitude. I can only imagine how he must have laid awake at night wondering about his son's future. Worse, as he lay on the ground dying, were his final thoughts about his family? Their future without him? Being a father myself now I have to think they were. I know that is what would have been racing through my head. If only one good thing came from his death it is that it was the wake up call that got me off my butt and has driven me ever since. That message you delivered to your dad must have held untold blessings for him to hear. All a real dad ever wants is the best for his kids. To know that you feel he gave that to you...if only everyone had the chance.
 
Thanks. Telling him my son had an Eagle Scout Court of Honor on the fantail of the USS Missouri in Pearl Barbor was priceless. The conversation will continue.

I told him several times he set the table for all of this to become real. He was silent, likely in shock.

I know that my visit was the right thing to do and I am grateful of the road he paved.
 
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You never know what regrets you may have until it's too late.

A couple years ago my wife got a call from a detective looking to reunite her with her biological father. The last time she saw him was 1978. She was 3. He wanted to see her and she didn't want to see him. But thought it may be her only chance and that she may have regretted it later if she didn't.

She is glad she did, although isn't staying in contact with him. It was just something she needed to do before it was too late and she would wind up wondering.

Long strange story.
 
Copy that. My sister who communicates with my Dad regularly will tell me how he felt.

The sad part is my wife bitched at me for being gone so long. Yet I have spent countless Holidays with her parents.

Life is not fair.
 
Good for you !! I'm a grudge holdin' SumBitch so I give you my thumbs up. I know it wasn't easy.
 
3175375 said:
Copy that. My sister who communicates with my Dad regularly will tell me how he felt.

The sad part is my wife bitched at me for being gone so long. Yet I have spent countless Holidays with her parents.

Life is not fair.
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Great thing working on a relationship with your dad. I miss mine every day. As far as your wife being mad, that's her job. But remind her you can only have 1 father...wife's, not so much
 
Wish that I could talk with my Dad, been over 2 years, and I still miss him.
fd
 
My dad died when I was in 7th grade , 1977 . My kids have had no grandfathers and my stepdad they saw on several occasions . Enjoy the time you still have and left the past be the past .
 
My dad and I shared our love of Mustanging. It was our entire lives when I lived at home and as a new husband. When he died I hadn't started the restomod of my '65 coupe which he and my mom gave me as my first car. He would have loved hearing about my progress and offing his opinion on what I should do. Its good you were able to get together.
 
I spoke to my sister yesterday and she said my Father was awestruck by my success in the workplace. He did not speak much and listened attentively.

I had told him he encouraged me to join Hughes Aircraft Company (which I did) and it was one of the finest places to work. It was true. I also told him I worked on the Next Generation Jammer Program and we flew a demonstration antenna about 3 years ago and a picture of me removing the antenna cover on our testbed went into the Executive Summary volume of the Proposal.

He was totally silent - I suspect we was awestruck.

Thanks, Dad. You made me who I am.....
 
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