Mach1 Driver
Well-Known Member
You need to hear my sad tale of woe so that you too are not drawn by curiosity into this diabolical trap:
I entered our darkened living room and saw a faint light on top of the antique table on the opposite side of the room. It is a small table that is lined in stone and has an inlaid marble top. I suppose it was very fashionable in it’s day and was intended to store tobacco. On top of the table I could just make out the outline of a box with a handle on it’s top. The box had decorative holes around the sides through which a very dim light shone. Like a moth to a flame and in the best of Fixer attitudes I slowly lifted the handle to try and glimpse what was inside. I was immediately blinded by a bright light shining directly up into my eyes and swayed ever so slightly to the side. Then a hot substance oozed over my fingers and down onto the table and floor. This elicited a prolific amount of swearing and further swaying. WTF??
I beseech you to search and identify if such a devilish device exists in your abode. I am told it was shown to me some years ago but I apparently thought it to be some sort of bric-a-brac or decoration and not worthy of further consideration. I am sure you can see why I thought thusly. It is a small metal box with a very small spot light facing upward and a decorative pattern punched in the sides. A tiny tray with handle is placed on top of the light, and the most disturbing feature of all is the scented wax that is placed in the tray so that it may melt and “freshen” the room. No male has ever paid the slightest attention to such a demonic device. Indeed it is repugnant to any self-respecting Fixer of the male persuasion.
To make matters worse, the wax was the same light golden color of the oak floor onto which it spilled and hardened, after forming a puddle on the marble top and running over the sides and down. Take heed- YOU HAVE BEEN FORWARNED!
I entered our darkened living room and saw a faint light on top of the antique table on the opposite side of the room. It is a small table that is lined in stone and has an inlaid marble top. I suppose it was very fashionable in it’s day and was intended to store tobacco. On top of the table I could just make out the outline of a box with a handle on it’s top. The box had decorative holes around the sides through which a very dim light shone. Like a moth to a flame and in the best of Fixer attitudes I slowly lifted the handle to try and glimpse what was inside. I was immediately blinded by a bright light shining directly up into my eyes and swayed ever so slightly to the side. Then a hot substance oozed over my fingers and down onto the table and floor. This elicited a prolific amount of swearing and further swaying. WTF??
I beseech you to search and identify if such a devilish device exists in your abode. I am told it was shown to me some years ago but I apparently thought it to be some sort of bric-a-brac or decoration and not worthy of further consideration. I am sure you can see why I thought thusly. It is a small metal box with a very small spot light facing upward and a decorative pattern punched in the sides. A tiny tray with handle is placed on top of the light, and the most disturbing feature of all is the scented wax that is placed in the tray so that it may melt and “freshen” the room. No male has ever paid the slightest attention to such a demonic device. Indeed it is repugnant to any self-respecting Fixer of the male persuasion.
To make matters worse, the wax was the same light golden color of the oak floor onto which it spilled and hardened, after forming a puddle on the marble top and running over the sides and down. Take heed- YOU HAVE BEEN FORWARNED!
