2ndgen
Member
Dave,
My wife of 25 years works at a state agency... several weeks back some obscure and arcane rules at a different state agency resulted in a young person that my wife was trying to help being prevented from achieving their goal. My wife was very upset by this and that evening she told me that she felt so bad that she personally offered to help pay for the fees this person incurred. My immediate response was to say "Why in the world would you do that, you are sending a message to this person that you are at fault and responsible for their predicament!".
I was, of course, immediately accused of being an uncaring, insensitive asshole, that sometimes you just have to do the right thing and help. Can you guess where this is headed?
Two days ago the person my wife was trying to help presented her with an itemized bill for several thousand dollars that listed any expense even remotely connected (and in some cases not connected) with the $70 fee my wife offered to pay for. This was hilarious to me, and generally over-the-top with the individual (for example) asking my wife to personally reimburse them for mileage and depreciation on their car, parking, meals, etc. At this point the situation was escalated to supervisors and ultimately legal counsel... Fortunately her supervisors are supportive and it is obvious to any rational person that not only is she not obligated to pay anything at all, the bill is outrageous and an affront to the act of kindness my wife intended.
Now I have a pretty good idea what I would say to this person, as well as how Dave might react, but that is not my question.
Dave, is it ever worth the pain and suffering that will surely follow to utter the words "I told you so" to your wife?
-Rory
My wife of 25 years works at a state agency... several weeks back some obscure and arcane rules at a different state agency resulted in a young person that my wife was trying to help being prevented from achieving their goal. My wife was very upset by this and that evening she told me that she felt so bad that she personally offered to help pay for the fees this person incurred. My immediate response was to say "Why in the world would you do that, you are sending a message to this person that you are at fault and responsible for their predicament!".
I was, of course, immediately accused of being an uncaring, insensitive asshole, that sometimes you just have to do the right thing and help. Can you guess where this is headed?
Two days ago the person my wife was trying to help presented her with an itemized bill for several thousand dollars that listed any expense even remotely connected (and in some cases not connected) with the $70 fee my wife offered to pay for. This was hilarious to me, and generally over-the-top with the individual (for example) asking my wife to personally reimburse them for mileage and depreciation on their car, parking, meals, etc. At this point the situation was escalated to supervisors and ultimately legal counsel... Fortunately her supervisors are supportive and it is obvious to any rational person that not only is she not obligated to pay anything at all, the bill is outrageous and an affront to the act of kindness my wife intended.
Now I have a pretty good idea what I would say to this person, as well as how Dave might react, but that is not my question.
Dave, is it ever worth the pain and suffering that will surely follow to utter the words "I told you so" to your wife?
-Rory
