• Hello there guest and Welcome to The #1 Classic Mustang forum!
    To gain full access you must Register. Registration is free and it takes only a few moments to complete.
    Already a member? Login here then!

Non PC Muslim jokes

R

RustyRed

Active Member
Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims:

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
You may be a Muslim

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
You may be a Muslim

3. You have more wives than teeth.
You may be a Muslim

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.
You may be a Muslim

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
You may be a Muslim

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
You may be a Muslim

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
You may be a Muslim

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
You may be a Muslim

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
You may be a Muslim

10. Your cousin is president of the United States .
You may be a Muslim

11. You find this offensive or racist and don't forward it.
 
Silence infidel! CAIR has been notified of your disrespect of the religion of peace. Expect a sternly worded letter islamophobe, and jihad. Most likely, lots of jihad infidel pigdog.

Aloha Snackbar!
 
Muslims have gone on the rampage in Bradford, killing anyone who's English.
Police fear the death toll could be as high as five.

Just Fostered a Muslim.
All four cans hit him right on the back of the head.

They've had to cancel the panto 'Jack and the beanstalk', in Birmingham, Bristol, Oldham, Bradford, Burnley, Leicester, Luton and London:
Because the giant couldn't smell any Englishmen.

Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works a treat!


And some Afgan jokes


What do you call the first Afghan off the boat?
Amhere!
What do you call the second Afghan off the boat?
Amhere Azwel!
What do you call the third Afghan off the boat?
Amhere Azwel Azhim!

And an Indian joke to finish

Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing.
I thought she was dead until I saw the red spot on her forehead, and realised she was just on standby.
 
"Gigantopithecus" said:
Silence infidel! CAIR has been notified of your disrespect of the religion of peace pieces.
Click to expand...

Fixed it.

"Gigantopithecus" said:
Aloha Snackbar!
Click to expand...

Great. Now I've go to call IT and get a new screen. Who knew Coke would kill an LCD?
 
Meanwhile in Derkastan(aka any damn Middle East country), Anwar al-Awlaki, American-born Muslim cleric Anwar al-Awlaki, who preached terror as the public face of al Qaeda, and Samir Khan aka Inshallahshaheed, who fled the U.S. to avoid arrest and joined al-Awlaki in Yemen, tried to catch a few JDAMs and failed. Both killed in Yemen last night.

Derka derka Mohammad jihad, aloha snackbar! BOOM!
 
A Muslim dies and goes up to heaven. He`s stopped at the Pearly Gates by St-Peter
Who says "Sorry, but we don`t allow Muslims into Heaven".
What? Replies the Muslim, and Why Not?
Well, we just don`t
The Muslim complains and carries on until St-Peter gets fed up.
Well, says St-Peter--have you ever done anything good in your life?
Ummm--the Muslim replies. Yeah, the other day a lady stopped me on the street
Collecting for a children`s charity so I gave her ten dollars. Last week I donated ten dollars to the Cancer
Society and a couple of weeks ago a tramp asked me if I could spare any money so I gave him ten Dollars also.
All right then says St-Peter--let me go and have a quick word with God.
Five minutes later St-Peter returns and says to the Muslim.
Listen, I`ve spoken with God and he agrees with me,
Here`s your 30 bucks back, now fu*k Off.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top