scedd
Well-Known Member
An Indian dies and goes to heaven. He knocks on the pearly gates and St Peter opens them.
"Yes can I help you?" says St Peter.
"I am here for Jesus"says the Indian. St Peter turns around and shouts
"Hey Jesus, your taxi`s here"
A Mexican, an Arab, and an Australian are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks no-alcohol beer (cos he's a muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'
The Australian, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out his 12 gauge, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching his glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill,he says,
'In Australia we have so many illegal immigrants coming in that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm together
and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby
is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward,
eleven of whom are crying and screaming.
Over in the corner, one baby is smiling and gurgling serenely. A
nurse comes by, and, to the delight of the gay fathers, she points
out the happy child as theirs.
"Isn't it wonderful?" one gay says to the other. "All these unhappy
babies...but our baby is so happy. This just proves the superiority of
gay love!"
The nurse says, "Oh sure, he's happy now, but just watch what
happens when I pull the thermometer out of his arse!'
"Yes can I help you?" says St Peter.
"I am here for Jesus"says the Indian. St Peter turns around and shouts
"Hey Jesus, your taxi`s here"
A Mexican, an Arab, and an Australian are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks no-alcohol beer (cos he's a muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'
The Australian, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out his 12 gauge, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching his glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill,he says,
'In Australia we have so many illegal immigrants coming in that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm together
and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby
is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward,
eleven of whom are crying and screaming.
Over in the corner, one baby is smiling and gurgling serenely. A
nurse comes by, and, to the delight of the gay fathers, she points
out the happy child as theirs.
"Isn't it wonderful?" one gay says to the other. "All these unhappy
babies...but our baby is so happy. This just proves the superiority of
gay love!"
The nurse says, "Oh sure, he's happy now, but just watch what
happens when I pull the thermometer out of his arse!'
bj fd