Perhaps it is because deep down below the glossy clear coat of class and sophistication sprayed over the 10 footer paint job that is my professional demeanor, I am a degenerate, but I LOVE prison Jokes. Here are my two favorites from my standup days.
Guy shows up at prison to serve his and is introduced to his cell mate. Cell mate says 'Howdy. You and me, we are gonna be a family. Do you want to be the momma or the daddy." New guy considers his answer for a second and says " I would very much prefer to be the Daddy, please." Cell mate says " Fine. Daddy, once you get your stuff put away, come on over here and suck your mommy's cock."
Another guy in another prison shows up and is very depressed on the first day. His cell mate says' Cheer up, buddy. There is LOTS to do in prison." New guy says, "yeah? Like what" Cell mate says "DO you like golf? New guy says that he does, and cell mate says, " you are gonna love monday. All we do on monday is golf, golf golf. We watch it on TV, talk about it, play it, if you like golf, you are gonna LOVE monday." New guy says," yeah, but what about the rest of the week." Cell mate says, well, do like bowling? New guy says yes. Cell mate says, well if you like bowling, tuesday is your day. All day long we bowl, talk bowling, watch it on TV, bowling bowling and more bowling: if bowling is your thing, tuesday is for you. New guy, now starting to cheer up a bit, asks "What about wednesday?" Cell mate says, "Do you like getting fucked in the ass?" New guy says "No, No I dont." Cell mate says " Well, you ain't gonna like wednesday.....
You may notice that both jokes, as many prison jokes, play on the fear of forced sex with a man. I think that is why I laugh at them. I am not suggesting that I lay awake at night in fear of being forced to fellate and aryan nation goon, or that eating jelly out of the ass of a man with self- applied tattoos on his eyelids makes my blood run cold, but I think the fear of such a thing is part of what has kept me out of prison so far. Perhaps one of you regular practitioners of those dark arts can reassure me that getting involuntarily fucked in the ass is not so bad once you get used to it. I have heard that anal sex is like spinach: If you are forced to have it as a child, you probably wont like it as a grownup. Maybe that explains it.
Guy shows up at prison to serve his and is introduced to his cell mate. Cell mate says 'Howdy. You and me, we are gonna be a family. Do you want to be the momma or the daddy." New guy considers his answer for a second and says " I would very much prefer to be the Daddy, please." Cell mate says " Fine. Daddy, once you get your stuff put away, come on over here and suck your mommy's cock."
Another guy in another prison shows up and is very depressed on the first day. His cell mate says' Cheer up, buddy. There is LOTS to do in prison." New guy says, "yeah? Like what" Cell mate says "DO you like golf? New guy says that he does, and cell mate says, " you are gonna love monday. All we do on monday is golf, golf golf. We watch it on TV, talk about it, play it, if you like golf, you are gonna LOVE monday." New guy says," yeah, but what about the rest of the week." Cell mate says, well, do like bowling? New guy says yes. Cell mate says, well if you like bowling, tuesday is your day. All day long we bowl, talk bowling, watch it on TV, bowling bowling and more bowling: if bowling is your thing, tuesday is for you. New guy, now starting to cheer up a bit, asks "What about wednesday?" Cell mate says, "Do you like getting fucked in the ass?" New guy says "No, No I dont." Cell mate says " Well, you ain't gonna like wednesday.....
You may notice that both jokes, as many prison jokes, play on the fear of forced sex with a man. I think that is why I laugh at them. I am not suggesting that I lay awake at night in fear of being forced to fellate and aryan nation goon, or that eating jelly out of the ass of a man with self- applied tattoos on his eyelids makes my blood run cold, but I think the fear of such a thing is part of what has kept me out of prison so far. Perhaps one of you regular practitioners of those dark arts can reassure me that getting involuntarily fucked in the ass is not so bad once you get used to it. I have heard that anal sex is like spinach: If you are forced to have it as a child, you probably wont like it as a grownup. Maybe that explains it.
o