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Snakes!

Midlife

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SWMBO called me at work, with a desperate tone in her voice. She found a 4-5' snake in the backyard, said it had diamonds on it. Oh...OK. Now I've been called before about a snapping turtle that was chasing the dogs in the yard and was climbing a chain-link fence (yeah, right), and another snake in the neighbor's back yard (a very long black one, somewhat motionless that turned out to be a garden hose!). She's freaked now because she refuses the let the dogs out back with a ravenous reptile eager to suck down a 85 pound dog with one gulp. I come home, dig out the trusty shovel, and have a look-see. Whaddya know? Nothing out there, nor in the neighbor's yard.

Lawn was last cut 1.5 weeks ago, and not terribly long, but she demands that I cut it nevertheless. Of course, the landmines weren't cleared, so I managed to step on a few of them. No sign of a snake, unless he also leaves a good sized landmine. I'm sure I'll be called home from work tomorrow and the next day and the next...

Oh the drama of it all!
 
Ahhh, brings back wonderful memories of living north of Daytona Beach. Mine still comes in screaming that there's a H U G E snake about to eat her, the dog, horses, a car.....only to go out and see a 3' Gopher snake :doh
 
Now how do you suppose that snake got from Daytona Beach area to Panama City? Or is your SWMBO an evil twin of mine? :'(
 
Having moved from the country living in the open desert of Az. I can relate to that call. After a while, my wife learned to keep an eye on the object so I could actually do something when I got home.

Being we are about 50 feet from the water here, I am waiting for that scream but so far, so good.

Maybe a bit of doctoring of the wifes morning coffee might make your day go better. lol
 
Since the first call to work, the snake has grown from 4-6' to 8-10', and a diameter of 1.5" to 4". Of course it has...
 
What's wrong with snakes? I deal with them all the time, sometimes even in the outdoors.
 
I have snakes terrible at my house as well. I am in a semi-wooded area. There are drainage retention basins around for storm water, AND they are still building the remaining houses, thus disturbing the land even more.

Last night I mowed and I have concrete splash blocks for the gutter downspouts. I always lift them and move them when I move.

Well upon lifting splash block 1 of 6 last night, I encountered snake #1. Did I mention I hate snakes? I am unsure of the species - unless dead is a species. Because he is dead. He/she got a concrete splash block to the head.

On to splash block #2. Still a bit shakin from splash block #1. Upon lifting S.B. #2, be it a bit more cautiously, I discover snake #2. Snake #2 is as equally surprised to see me as I it, so he coils and strikes, then retreats to a little hole. Huh uh, no way buddy. Your going down. I dash to the garage and gather little spade #1. Little spade digs a little larger hole to uncover snake #2. Snake #2 is no longer whole. Carry 2 snake halves of #2 to accompany #1 in the driveway.

Feeling like a bad ass now, I make my way to splash block #3. Guess what? Splash block #3 has snake #3 under it. Since I like to mix it up, I reverted to using splash block #3 to bash in the head of snake #3. Upon intial blow to snake #3. Splash block #3 breaks in half. Leaving me equally pissed off now. Carry snake #3 back to the driveway to accompany snakes #1 & #1 of 2 and 2 of 2. And discard broken splash block halves in the trash collection cart ;D

I am happy report that splash blocks 4, 5 & 6 did not have any snakes. But they are on the other side of the house. So that could have been why.

Anyway, yeah, I have snakes too. I hate them.
 
You mean to say the Big Bad Ass Jeremy is afraid of a little tiny snake? Oh my! :show
 
"Midlife" said:
Since the first call to work, the snake has grown from 4-6' to 8-10', and a diameter of 1.5" to 4". Of course it has...

Any neighbors or pets missing? lol
 
Latest report is that it swallowed a condo building on the beach...
 
One of these days when I stop laughing at Jeremy's snake story I'll tell you about the time me and a little ole Copperhead wrestled.... and that little bugger won!

This year has been very slow for snakes around here. I've only seen two all year....one little guy sunning himself on a rock in the stream (blasted him with the 12ga.) and the other was a harmless Black snake being pecked/harassed all the way up the driveway by a blackbird (it looked funny as all get out to watch the bird kick the snakes arse).
 
I'm with Jeremy on this one. The only good snake is a dead snake. I've killed 4 copperheads this summer already. Eeeeewwww! I hate them damn things. :guns
 
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