A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
>
> The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
> Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the
>freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything,
>but...
>
> "Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact
>is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find
>it."
>
> The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in
>insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build
>you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in
>fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch."
>
> The man perks up at this.
>
> "So," the doctor says, "It's for you to decide how many inches you want.
> But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if
>you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine
>incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one
>before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she
>might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in
>helping you make the decision."
>
> The man agrees to talk with his wife.
>
> The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you
>spoken with your wife?"
>
> "I have," says the man.
>
> "And what is the decision?" asks the doctor.
>
> "We're getting granite countertops."
>
> The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
> Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the
>freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything,
>but...
>
> "Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact
>is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find
>it."
>
> The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in
>insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build
>you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in
>fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch."
>
> The man perks up at this.
>
> "So," the doctor says, "It's for you to decide how many inches you want.
> But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if
>you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine
>incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one
>before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she
>might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in
>helping you make the decision."
>
> The man agrees to talk with his wife.
>
> The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you
>spoken with your wife?"
>
> "I have," says the man.
>
> "And what is the decision?" asks the doctor.
>
> "We're getting granite countertops."
