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VERY unpolitically correct jokes. You've been warned.

70_Fastback

70_Fastback

Hell Bent for Speed
:skul

  • I live next door to an Arab couple and they have challenged me to a water fight in the back yard. They have 3 little kids. So, I am writing this to kill time until the water boils.
  • There's a new anti-depressant for lesbians on the market: Trycoxagin.
  • Can you spare just $2? Ranji is a 9 yr. old boy living in Namibia . He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day, he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty old bike with a bent wheel, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video, it's hilarious!
  • I failed my biology exam today. I was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells. Apparently, Mexicans and blacks is not the correct answer.
  • I caught a stray parrot in my garden. All he says is, "Good morning you ugly prick!" It's not yours is it?
  • Been to the optometrist today - he told me I was color blind. Now I'm worried that some of my buddies could be black. If you are, can you delete my e-mail address?

[mod]Fixed...?[/mod]
 
"70_Fastback" said:
:skul

  • I live next door to an Arab couple and they have challenged me to a water fight in the back yard. They have 3 little kids. So, I am writing this to kill time until the water boils.

[*]There [/list]
Click to expand...

FAIL. :homo
 
I suppose this one wont be acceptable either then.

I'm fucking exhausted!! Just spent 5 hours painting all the rocks in my front yard white, just in case my Arab neighbour wants a snowball fight over the Christmas holidays!
 
A Hippie sits next to a nun on the bus and asks her if he could have sex with her, she said "NO! i am married to god!!" and gets off the bus disgusted.
The bus driver said "she prays every tuesday night at midnight in the grave yard, why dont you dress up in a hooded robe go to the grave yard tell her you are god and demand sex?"
The hippie tries this and to his suprise the nun said "yes but only if we have anal sex as i want to keep my virginity"
They have passionate bum sex and when they are done the hippie throws off his robe and cries" ha ha" I'm the hippie!
The nun cries out "ha ha i'm the bus driver
 
Bloke says to a chick in the pub "Jeez I'd give you one!"
She replies "you filthy pig I wouldnt have sex with you if you were the last man on earth!"
He says "Wooah steady on ya fat cunt, I was giving you a rating out of 10!"
 
"scedd" said:
Bloke says to a chick in the pub "Jeez I'd give you one!"
She replies "you filthy pig I wouldnt have sex with you if you were the last man on earth!"
He says "Wooah steady on ya fat cunt, I was giving you a rating out of 10!"
Click to expand...


HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! :thu
 
"70_Fastback" said:
  • Can you spare just $2? Ranji is a 9 yr. old boy living in Namibia . He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day, he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty old bike with a bent wheel, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video, it's hilarious!
Click to expand...


I lost it on this one.
 
"scedd" said:
A Hippie sits next to a nun on the bus and asks her if he could have sex with her, she said "NO! i am married to god!!" and gets off the bus disgusted.
The bus driver said "she prays every tuesday night at midnight in the grave yard, why dont you dress up in a hooded robe go to the grave yard tell her you are god and demand sex?"
The hippie tries this and to his suprise the nun said "yes but only if we have anal sex as i want to keep my virginity"
They have passionate bum sex and when they are done the hippie throws off his robe and cries" ha ha" I'm the hippie!
The nun cries out "ha ha i'm the bus driver
Click to expand...
Watch out Kev might sue you for plagiarism. :char
 
"scedd" said:
A Hippie sits next to a nun on the bus and asks her if he could have sex with her, she said "NO! i am married to god!!" and gets off the bus disgusted.
The bus driver said "she prays every tuesday night at midnight in the grave yard, why dont you dress up in a hooded robe go to the grave yard tell her you are god and demand sex?"
The hippie tries this and to his suprise the nun said "yes but only if we have anal sex as i want to keep my virginity"
They have passionate bum sex and when they are done the hippie throws off his robe and cries" ha ha" I'm the hippie!
The nun cries out "ha ha i'm the bus driver attorney
Click to expand...

There ya go...fixed it for ya.
 
:roll
"scedd" said:
A Hippie sits next to a nun on the bus and asks her if he could have sex with her, she said "NO! i am married to god!!" and gets off the bus disgusted.
The bus driver said "she prays every tuesday night at midnight in the grave yard, why dont you dress up in a hooded robe go to the grave yard tell her you are god and demand sex?"
The hippie tries this and to his suprise the nun said "yes but only if we have anal sex as i want to keep my virginity"
They have passionate bum sex and when they are done the hippie throws off his robe and cries" ha ha" I'm the hippie!
The nun cries out "ha ha i'm the bus driver
Click to expand...

Careful, mate. This kind of joke can earn you a reputation on this forum. Ask me how i know. Or, just read the last two posts.
 
Suuuuuure, like saying that attorneys like homosexual ass sex is something of a news flash........



Crazy talk
 
Since Mel hasn't chimed in here I started to get a little concerned. I 411'd him and just got done speaking with his wife. Bad news guys. Mel's wife is also concerned as the last time she saw him he was heading to the local cemetary wearing a nun costume.
 
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