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An oldie that is still funny!

Flysure1

Active Member
Have You Ever Danced?

An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced? "The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to."
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... but... I've always wanted to."

There are two lessons for us all here:

Don't waste ammunition.
Don't mess with old people.

I just love a story with a happy ending! :lol
 
An oldie that is still funny!

A long dusty day on the trail was coming to an end when the old cowboy by the name of bud head stopped in town to wet his whistle. He pulled up in front of the saloon, tied his horse up, and started beating the trail dust off.

As the barkeep watched from the doorway, Bud walked to the rear of his horse and lifted the mares tail. Bud leaned in close and gave hist trusty mount a big fat kiss dead on the horses ass. he then stepped inside and ordered a beer.

The bartender spoke up "Did you just kiss that horse on the ass?"

'Yep!' muttered old Bud.

In astonishment, the bartender replied " Why in the world, would a grown man kiss a horse's ass?"

Bud Head answered " Well its mighty dusty out there on the trail and my lips get chapped pretty bad."

"Chapped lips? "the puzzled bartender replied "Does that help cure the chapped lips?"

"Well no, but it keeps me from licking them and pulling the scabs!"

fd
 
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