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Finally filed for divorce...on my 13th anniversary no less...

Good for you for taking a stand. It might be hard now, but it will be much better for the kids later. Hopefully it will all work out in the end.

Doug
 
What about hiring a private investigator to follow her around for a week or so making notes, taking video, etc. Then have the PI testify and have proof to show the judge. :shrug
 
"blu67" said:
Yeah, it'll be real tough to prove anything. She has developed a keen sense on how to hide it mostly. She hides everything and rarely has it with her when she is passed out.
She has left for days at a time before without letting me know where she is....but once again, proof needed.
The tough part is wanting to give her the benefit of the doubt that this time she will clean up her act for good. I really don't want our kids to grow up without their mommy.....unfortunately, they shouldn't have to grow up with her like this either.
I have truly given throwing her out a thought but she has no friends to stay with and nowhere to go. It makes it difficult when u don't want to add to the homeless problem and when she is sober she provides excellent care to our kids.
I have proof as late as October 5th. Emailed it to myself for protection.
Click to expand...

Fact is you cannot "make" a drunk sober up. They have to hit bottom and want it for themselves bad enough and there is no short cuts.

If facing a divorce due to her habits hasn't been enough of a slap in the face then sometimes all you can do is stop enabling them, step out of the way and let them start to reap the consequences of their actions. Eventually they'll hit bottom and want to change.

I like the idea of having a PI follow her and document trips to the liquor store, etc. They would likely also be able to wire the house with nanny cams and things of that nature.
 
I like the idea of a PI but I'm sure the cost is out of my range. Plus she gets her stuff at the grocery store and 7-11.
Anyway, not trying to find excuses for her or cry about it myself to you guys. Just trying to figure out how to navigate my side of things.
I've tried to limit the amount of money she has access to to virtually nothing (sometimes really nothing) but she still finds a way to get it. She told me one day that she just went into the grocery store and stole some wine. I'm sure she has done that in other occasions as well. Just wish she would get caught. Don't think a cop is going to come by to arrest her without proof here in LA if I called.
6 months can't come soon enough. ( in CA, divorces usually take 6 months to finalize. )
 
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