Joke of the day - Add your jokes here

[Aussie67]

There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant son around his factory. Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer.

They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought, "This should impress him!" He showed his son a machine and said "Son, this is the heart of the factory. With this machine here we can put in a pig, and out come sausages."

The rude son, unimpressed, said "Yes, but do you have a machine where you can put in a sausage and out comes a pig?"

The father, furious, thought and said, "Yes son, we call it your mother."​

 

[Aussie67]

There once was a farmer who was raising three daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them.

As they entered their late teens the girls dated, and on this particular evening all three of his girls were going out on a date.

This was the first time this had occurredAs was his custom, he would greet the young suitor at the door holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten but merely to ensure that the young man knew who was boss. The doorbell rang and the first of the boys arrived.

Father answered the door and the lad said, “Hi, my name's Joe, I'm here for Flo. We're going to the show, is she ready to go?” The father looked him over and sent the kids on their way.

The next lad arrived and said, “My name's Eddie, I'm here for Betty. We are gonna get some spaghetti, is she ready?”

Father felt this one was okay too, so off the two kids went. The final young man arrived and the farmer opened the door. The boy started off, “Hi, my name's Chuck –“and the farmer shot him.​

 

[Aussie67]

Towards the end of a round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden: POOF!!

In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, 'I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?!?! Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life. Better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life. As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!!' Then POOF!... she was gone!

After Dave recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, 'Fred, where are you?' Fred yells back, 'I'm over here in the pussy willows.'
Dave shouts back, 'DON'T SWING, Fred!' FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING!!!​