Jokes unfit for the Gumflappers

[FordDude]

Evolution

A little girl wrote to Sarah Palin and asked; "How did the human race start?"
Sarah Palin answered, "God made Adam and Eve. They had children, and that was
how all mankind was made."
Two days later the girl wrote to Michelle Obama And asked the same question.
Michelle Obama answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl went to her father and said, "Dad, how is it possible that Sarah Palin told me, "The human race was created by God," and Michelle Obama said, "they were evolved from monkeys?"
Her father answered, "Well, Honey, it is very simple. Sarah Palin told you about her ancestors, and Michelle Obama, told you about hers."

fd

 

[FordDude]

Research paper excuses!

A college professor had just finished explaining how important it was that a research project be turned in on time. He said there were only two acceptable excuses for late projects:

1) A certified medical excuse
2) A death in the student's immediate family

A smart-ass student raised his hand and asked, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"

As expected, this caused an explosion of laughter.

After the class had settled down, the professor froze the student with a glaring look and said, "Well, in that case, I guess you would just have to learn how to write with your other hand."

fd

 

[FordDude]

A man and his son were driving along the road when his
son turned to him and asked "Dad what is a woman's vagina
like before sex?" Being a little stunned the father
thought for a moment and said "Son it looks like a
beautiful flower with large pink petals that are tinged
cream at the ends." The boy looked up at his
father "Okay, what does it look like after sex?" Again
the father thought for a moment "Well son have you ever
seen a bulldog chewing a mayonnaise sandwich?"

fd