My life looks like my mustang

[68angrypony]

Have you looked into the military? Since you have a degree you can be an officer. In no time you will be making enough money to be living more than comfortably. You will see the world, meet life long friends, and probably find someone you will want to marry. Not to mention all the benefits that come with the military. 20 years later you can retire and still be young enough to start another career or doing nothing and live off your retirement. The military isn't the easiest but it is very rewarding.

"Some people live an entire lifetime and wonder if they have made a difference in the world. Marines don't have that problem."
President Reagan couldn't of said it any better.

I have looked into the military as I have a number of friends in or that have served. After a few things get squared away I might take an even closer look. But the hard part of the military is where do you begin to pick what you do? I talked to a Navy recruiter and asked him and it was just like you should know. I don't. So thats one major issue I have with looking at the military is how to even start to tackle that decision.

Replying back to God is the answer. He might be. I guess I just haven't been able to be in tune with that in my life yet. Going to different churches with friends has only made me pull back as its a little over whelming and feels so inauthentic. I guess I am a more one on one person and the large groups distract me.

 

[68angrypony]

Finding what you enjoy to do as a life profession vs finding a job that pays enough to live on are two different things most of the time. We all have a passion in life that we would love to do......but many do not find the job doing it so we settle for something that pays the bills. The passion can then turn into a hobby for some.

Sounds like you just need to stick to one secure job and get the finances secured. With that done, you then have the time to look for work that you enjoy. Trying different jobs as a second job without kicking the main job to the curb is better than bouncing around. The longer you move from job to job, the harder it will be to find a "good" job.

With a secure job, the finer things in life and relationships will happen. Pushing to hard for relationships can result in false hopes and fake fronts developing. Be yourself and date for fun, not for what you want for a life partner. You will be surprised at how relaxed that will be .

I think you might be looking to hard for the perfect life instead of working towards a life that will head you in the direction of that perfect life. It all does not come over night and sure as hell, once we find the "perfect" life, something changes it and we start again.

Friends come from common things you share an interest in. Hobbies and work, social life and entertainment.....whatever you have fun with. Go out and do things you enjoy and friends will develop along the way.

You are young.......things will come to you thru life from sources you may never consider. Keep an open mind and an open heart without so much preconceived ideas as to what you life should be and life will be more fun.

Life is not an easy ride so hang in there for the fun that will come.

I agree. I have been starting to look at jobs lately and might start applying or go back to school for another skill set or graduate education. In regards to relationships I guess its like a kid waiting for Christmas. I never really wanted to do because i always just wanted that best friend/partner to go through life with. I have a bad habit of posting judgement and that sometimes affects me being myself and just being able to be genuine and not put on a show or be a little off due to nervousness. I can't seem to get the thoughts out of my head to want to look for a girl date etc. If I could calm that down I would just like to get my life straightened out so I can get on track and be prepared for when other opportunities of life present themselves. I am truly looking forward to when I get some momentum. I feel like I am a lump of coal that just needs some polishing to become a diamond. Whenever you hear of some of the greats of this world, you hear about mentors or guidance and for some reason I feel I could benefit from having someone like that in my life at this point.

 

[68angrypony]

I think if you did something to raise your confidence in yourself (join a sports team, take marital arts, join the military, etc)... it will carry over to the job world and relationships.

I completely agree. I am working on taking the first step. As soon as I get my next commission check I wanted to finally get involved in martial arts/maybe some meditation/yoga and just start experiencing them.

Rich has the answer, BUT, don't expect a magical switch to be flipped like a light. Give me some time and I'll shoot you a pm. Crazy how we seem to have a lot in common. I have slung tires, was L&H certified along with the 6 and 63, spent time on one of the upper floors of a big bank, yada-yada-yada. One of the basic problems is your expectations. I'll elaborate in the pm but until then, hang in there and look at what you DO HAVE, not what you don't have. Check out what Rich is talking about also.

I definitely sometimes have listened to much to tv or stories and believed sometimes that things would instantly change and click but hasn't happened yet lol. I have had a tendency to look at the negative and not the positive. Although I am getting better as the years progress. I have a lot compared to others in this world so I am definitely grateful for that.

Hey, man. I agree with what Rich said, but want to add something. One of the great things about being on the planet is being part of a community. Aside from the obvioius spiritual benefit, a church can be a great community where you can be a part of a group of peers that are dealing with the same life issues as you are. The military is also a good place to have that kind of group of peers. While someone has mentioned therapy, for some, there is no better therapy than friends who are in the same shoes.

On the professional side, my father told me something when I was a teenager that I think about all the time. If you are looking for your job to be the main source of your self esteem and enjoyment of life, you are barking up the wrong tree. Those things come from family first. Dad alway said that it is better to work to live, than to live to work. I have a career that I enjoy where I get to use what I have learned to help people. I also make a really good living. I have also had jobs I loved that paid almost nothing. If I did not have friends and a family that I care about, none of that would matter.

On the financial side, my advice is to cut up the credit cards right now. In today's world you need to have credit cards to live, but carrying a balance on those cards will suck the life blood out of you. Those credit card companies are modern highway bandits and they will steal your future if you let them. It takes discipline, but come up with a plan to get rid of that debt as fast as you can, even if it requires sacrifice today. Consult with a professional if you need to, but get the credit card bandits out of your life.

Getting involved in a church will change your life for the better. Go volunteer with Habitat for Humanity to build a house. Service in the military would also be a great thing. You know what these have in common? They both involve service to a cause that is greater than your own self interest. I think that this is the key.

If none of that works, try heroin. Just kidding. Don't start with heroin, you should work up to it. (see, I cant get through a post without some kind of smarta$$ joke. At least i did not say that your life could be worse: you could be Mark) hang in there.

Your dad sounds like a smart man with sound advice. I am working to axing my excuses and start taking action. Church's are still a challenge for me but maybe some day.

There is a lot of good advice here. When I find I need a little grounding, I read a book called "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. I think its out of print but I got a used copy on Amazon. Its all common sense but its easy to forget common sense. Its been a big help for me to stay focused. Good luck man, we've all been there.

I actually recently bought a double book. I couldn't find my how to win friends and influence people so I bought a thick book that has how to win friends and influence people and how to stop worrying and start living in it. I barely started it but already found some gems in their. Just have to find a system to remember all the good advice from people and books.

There is a lot of good advice here. When I find I need a little grounding, I read a book called "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. I think its out of print but I got a used copy on Amazon. Its all common sense but its easy to forget common sense. Its been a big help for me to stay focused. Good luck man, we've all been there.

I have been in your shoes. I too hold a degree and fealt just like you at a point in my life.
Pm me if you want to talk. I prefer phone over email. If you want to talk pm me your phone number. I think I can help

I really appreciate you taking the time to call me and talk to me. I am still amazed at the act of kindness that was to spend your time to be their for a random stranger. I haven't had much of that in my life and I am completely blown away by it. From the bottom of my heart Thank you. And thank you to everyone for caring, even for a moment.

 

[blue65coupe]

I will always believe that 250K is possible.

Yeah it's possible but very few people get there. Get away from this. Talk to the truly happy people and see if this ($) is their focus. It ain't. I know quite a few people who have alienated some good friends and family all for the sake of a dollar. It's obtainable but not probable. Say you make 250K. What's next? Is your focus then gonna be on 500K? If you're focus is on making X amt of dollars you'll never achieve your goal...simply because your goal will continue to go up. Success and happiness isn't related to a dollar and that is a hard pill to swallow. Society says it is and most of the people around you say that. It's a lie.

 

[RustyRed]

Yeah it's possible but very few people get there. Get away from this. Talk to the truly happy people and see if this ($) is their focus. It ain't. I know quite a few people who have alienated some good friends and family all for the sake of a dollar. It's obtainable but not probable. Say you make 250K. What's next? Is your focus then gonna be on 500K? If you're focus is on making X amt of dollars you'll never achieve your goal...simply because your goal will continue to go up. Success and happiness isn't related to a dollar and that is a hard pill to swallow. Society says it is and most of the people around you say that. It's a lie.

Making money isn't all it's cracked up to be and I agree with Duane's comments completely. Few, very few make the $250k mark. Typically, they are going to be an entrepreneur of some sort and many of the folks I've met at this level...they are totally wrapped up in their job and they tend to be workaholics where their company / work runs their life. The exceptions I can think of off the top of my head is I had a dentist for a tax client at one time that made more than this and worked maybe four days a week.

People believe that being wealthy will solve all their problems. However, I've worked with some of the most wealthy people in this country during my travels in CPA firms and I can tell you that some of the most pathetic unhappy people I have ever met are sometimes the ones with piles of money. Not saying all rich or wealthy people are miserable but it can certainly be the case....money really doesn't buy happiness. Actually, having lots of money comes with it's own set of problems. My big boss is on the forbes 400 list and he seems pretty happy with life and down to earth. The problems come in because you can never believe someone likes you because they like you. He has swarms of moochers always coming around and they just like him because he has deep pockets or they send him letters by the bundle with sob stories looking for a hand out. By the way, if people know you have deep pockets you are constantly worried about various liability issues because when it's time to sue the losers of the world will always go after the deep pockets. We've advised past tax clients who won the lottery, etc to get to the insurance agent now and buy an umbrella policy because people will literally cut you off on purpose or try to fake an injury on your property just because they know you have $.

As to the girls....best bet is to learn to be happy right where you are at. Ever had anyone observe the strange deal where when you have a girl friend you seem to meet all kinds of girls but when you break up then nothing? I think this is due to some people stress over not having a girl friend and it sends off a "vibe" and I know my buddy I mentioned above would often come off as coming on too strong or even desperate when he didn't have a GF. Just be yourself and don't worry about it one way or the other and you'll come across as more relaxed and that helps with meeting women. Also, best to get involved in something...it's the best way to meet girls. I have found most people met their sig. other at places like a dance class or martial arts class or church, etc. My sister met her husband because she took an interest in country western dancing and joined a group that was into that. I meet my wife through being involved in the local CPA chapter.