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Need to vent

tarafied1

tarafied1

Well-Known Member
About a month ago I wnet up North and brought my 20 year old son home. His GF came with us too. (Long Story but she was abused my step dad so we brought her too). Anyway, they have not had ANY luck finding work. To top it off his GF found a lump in her breast. We took her to the doctor, $85 out of pocket up front for first visit. He ordered blood work, mammogram, and a whole slew of other tests. After spending about $500 to go get them, now we are looking at another $500+ for here tests and if it is serious it could be a whole lot more. We are all concerned and a little scared for her and stressed about the money. Neither have insurance or income. My wife is about to blow a gasket from all the stress. Having them in the house is nice at times but also an extra burden. We don't really approve of the moral issue of them living together before marriage but feel they were anyway and this way at least we can take care of them. My son has started college but dropped out. I am hoping now since he is here I can get him focused on school again. We obviously will pay for his education if he puts the effort but if not, it's his debt. Anyway, we are all doing okay but the stress has blown up into some yelling and screaming at times. Life was easier when he was going to scholl and living up North with his buddy. Now that he has a GF everything changed!
 
Step back and take a breath. Assess the whole situation and ask everyone to do the same.
It will all work out...keep venting...we're here.
 
Although its a PIA, sounds like you're trying to do the right thing.

Doesn't the GF qualify for public assistance like Medicare or a state-type of medical assistance?
 
I feel bad for your situation Craig. Since I do not have kids, I have nothing more to offer.
 
First - I will keep you in our prayers.

Second - I believe you are doing the right thing.

Third - We are here for you and it will get better.
 
Since she is technically single she will qualify for loads of stuff. I know first hand with Amber. Find the cancer coordinator for your hospitala nd get to applying for all the grants. Apply now for the financial aid with the hospital. They get grants from the government for just such people. Make sure you make it clear she is single and you are just helping her with a place to stay until she can find a job.

Medicaid is your friend! So is SSD!

If you need help PM me and I will send you my phone number and help all I can.

The first infusion for Amber was $16000 and the PET Scan was $5300. then the MRI and CT scan another $3000. then the BRCA 1 &2 genetic tests, $3500.

So, there are huge help out there, take advantage of it!

Mel
 
first, let me say thanks! you are all great.
Kat I hope I didn't come across as against women. We love her now as if she was our own daughter. Her family hasn't helped her and we couldn't let her ignore the problems. We went to the health department, they were no help. She is not pregnant or a mother and too young. There is a medical card for women stuff but she doesn't qualify. We tried a free clinic but they say she needs to be employed. The doctor we took her too ordered a lot of the tests at the hospital. We have to pay because even though she is single, she lives with us and our income is considered on the sliding scale. We did get some luck with the hospital mammogram. She was able to submit a "zero income" form and they knocked $250 off the cost. We haven't tried medicare or whatever but so far we haven't had a lot of luck.
On a positive note we had a big, no huge blowout today because the kids were cancelling all the appointments because of the cost and we said we would pay and a lot of tension and stress all surfaced. It's not about the money but it is you know! Anyway, we all yelled and got mad then cried and hugged. I think it helped even though nothing really changed.
Mel I will probably need to talk with you, we are hitting brick walls here.
Thanks for letting me vent.
 
She does not live with you she is renting at some sort of a low amount. Like $250 a month, get my drift. She is not yours and not your responsibility and therefore qualifies for a ton of stuff. Your income will not count if you articulate it correctly.

Mel
 
Gotta be careful on the rental end too. There are legal aspects to renting a room in some states. Sometimes a separate address is required....such as an apt. number. Check things out and act stupid. Be surprised how much will come to light that way. I had to do some of the game playing when my son and his wife were not married and had medical issues in Salt Lake.

The main thing is to have things taken care of for her.........
 
We don't want to do anything shady. I will look into our options. We are hoping and praying it is not cancer. The doctor said that it could be a cyst. It has spread to her armpit and is painful so he said it could infected. That's why he ordered blood work. She has just gone a while with this because no one will help her. Before we came a long she went to the emergency room but they wouldn't do the tests she needed. We didn't know about all of this before bringing her here. That was part of the stress that the kids kept all of this a secret. The kids also led us to believe that her parents knew she was coming with us but I found out that they didn't know. We cleared the air of a lot of things. We will get through this somehow.
 
Craig, as you know we've been through this, let me know if I can shed any light or give suggestions. PM sent with some info. that is helpful hopefully.
Jon
 
Don't worry... I know us women are trouble. ;) Thats why you guys love us! :thu

She does not live with you she is renting at some sort of a low amount. Like $250 a month, get my drift. She is not yours and not your responsibility and therefore qualifies for a ton of stuff. Your income will not count if you articulate it correctly.
Click to expand...

Exactly. Back when I was 18 and my daughter was 2yrs old.. I lived with my mother still in Pensacola. I was able to get stuff because I paid my mother rent. *cough* I still got free medical for being a Navy dependant because I was in school but my daughter got free medical through the state. I also got welfare, food stamps and free daycare while I finished high school.
 
And now you know why there was a push last year to provide health care to everyone, regardless of income, age, condition, etc.
 
"Midlife" said:
And now you know why there was a push last year to provide health care to everyone, regardless of income, age, condition, etc.
Click to expand...
Never doubted the "why", I do question the "how"!
 
thanks again for all the support. My wife and I have been hoping we are doing the right thing. When it comes to your kids (even if one isn't officially mine) we do what we can. And Kat, you have heard the saying"if it has wheels or t1ts it will be trouble" but we do love both!!!
 
Most important relax, because I made my condition worse when this all happened to Amber and now look at what the heck we have going on.

OK, do be careful, but look at every option! If she is not yours and if she just rents a room from you the hospital will write of a huge chunk of it. they get their money back from the feds.

also, we didn't know this but if she would have walked straight into the radiology department of your local hospital the mammograms are free! there are tons of fund that make that possible! We didn't know we should have just bypassed the doctors and gone straight to then mammogram.

Mel
 
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