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Need to vent

some good news, the results came back. The lump is benign! Bad news, they still haven't found jobs.
I got him a trans (used) so he can get his car going. Trying to get him to go back to school. My wife and I have had some tuff times dealing with all this. So much more than I can even share but we had a pretty bad day today. Lots of fighting and yelling.
 
You and your wife need some alone time..... Take her out to dinner, nothing fancy, nothing to break the bank, just a nice peaceful dinner. Don't talk about the problems at home, talk about how the two of you can better communicate your feelings without the raised voices. Set up some code words to help limit the problem times. Talking and settling your issues before they become issues helps a ton..... Linda and I have had situations that could have turned nasty if it was not for our previously talking.
 
Wow, Sorry for the delayed response since im just reading this now, and im glad things look to be turning around and even if its just slightly. But im curious, is it possible for her parents to help with the medical expenses? Sorry for being blunt, but after all, shes not yours.

Hope everything works out for you.
 
Thanks Pete, I will try your advise.
As for her parents, well they simply won't help. Her step-dad abused her and is pissed off at her. Her mom has no money either.
Some of what has added stress today was they came and told us she has a court date back in Illinois. She kept from us that she had been arrested for drug possession. The story is that she and my son were driving a borrowed car. The car belonged to the parents of the friend my son was living with. They got pulled over for expired plates. The owner had a record so the police searched the car. They found pot. She says she told the cops it was hers so my son wouldn't get arrested. While all this sounds fishy and bad enough, I wanted to believe them but also don't want the wool pulled over my eyes. It's like a freaking soap opera. We were ready to send her packing but my son begged us not to. He loves her so much. So we all had a big blowout. It was painful and we all said things and hurt each other. In the end I think it was good because we got thing out we were all afraid to say or discuss before. What we do from here is still unclear but we are at least all calmed down again.
 
Another thing you need to do is sit them both down and talk. I know you have, but....

Put it point blank....any more things that have been hidden must be put out there now or the next one is the end and she goes........and if your son feels the need to be with her.....that would be his choice.

Went thru stuff like this with my son.....ended up with them leaving......and they lived thru it.
 
thanks Pete, that is exactly what we did. There is so much going on I can't put it all down but basically that is what we did. For now I hope they are telling us everything and the truth. Time will tell.
 
thanks. It was a rough day. My wife had a panic attack and hyperventilated. I feel terrible for putting her thru this. She is just the step mom. But we will survive. I feel like we made progress today.
 
Get some rest.......go somewhere away from it all on Sunday......talk to each other.

My wife and I have been thru some stress over the last couple months based on our living style and her medical issues. Today was a good day as we went to a car show and didn't worry about anything. Now, we are refreshed for tomorrow to continue on one problem at a time.
 
%$#%$ this. i am going for a drive hopefully next weekend and we are wrenching on the drag car...Craig you are way to nice of a guy. and you have a huge heart. I am not sure if you drink but if you do we can kick back a few..let me know
 
Hey Craig, I didn't know that y'all were experiencing some trouble. I just read this thread and see things have been tough for y'all. The good news is, it sounds like the GF is going to be ok. The other issues are obviously going to have to get better. I don't want you to take this in some corny way, but, there is a LOT of truth to the fact that you should try to accept the things you cannot change. I went through a rough time several years ago with my son. He and his 16 year old GF decided they wanted to be parents! Well, I have a great 3 year old grandson now, but three years ago I was a lunatic! Then one day, I wake up and finally decide you know, it is what it is. I put all the bad feelings aside and accepted it for what it was and I've been better for it. I guess looking at your situation, I would say the only thing I would be really trying to fix right now would be for your son to find SOME sort of employment. I think that would help everyone involved. Good Luck, I wish I could fix it for ya. Please, holler if you want to talk or if there is anything I can do_Oh, and hey, give your wife a big ole hug and let her know y'all are going to get through this.
 
Ughhh, unfortunately Craig it sounds like ya'll are just scratching the surface for what has been kept or hidden from you and your wife. I would expect to have this repeat itself, hopefully not but after the unknown lump secret everything should have come out on the table at that point. Who knows, child support or abandonment charges for an 'unknown' birth, other criminal records, lawsuits for hit and run, DUI, who knows.

I don't want to sound too negative but I think you'd be sticking your head in the sand if you believe this will be the last instance or that everything will be divulged just because she/they were caught on these 2... Sorry but I've had family members where I had to err on the side of caution over personal feelings, otherwise you end up on court papers along with them and jeapordize your own home, job, marriage etc. eventually.

Good luck, wish I could help with any employment suggestions but now that will get harder for her with a drug possession record now as it's asked on pretty much every application I've seen. Shot herself in the foot on that one, really lowers the chance of landing a job and kills the chance of a decent paying one.
Jon
 
hey jon I think we need to have a stangfix meet/ cheer up craig day up in Ky....you can come pick me up on the way up there lol..or we can caravan...
 
Just read through all this, i am really sorry, Canadian National is taking apps in IL i dont know what everyone's plans are? I grew up with no insurance, and little money i know what the stress is like, i paid 5$ a month on a 1500$ bill it was HELL paying it but i did slowly and surely. I know it's a bad time to look for a job, there is ALWAYS a way to make money. if you need help just yell, Take it easy..It will work out in time. hoping for the best.
 
That's funny, I was thinking the same thing after Craigs post on not having time to strip the interior of the dragcar. I was trying to figure out a weekend that I could get permission from the boss to disappear for an entire day, pick you up on the way and help Craig knock out the interior in one day with 3 guys. I've been in the doghouse lately though between work, school 3 nights/wk and house fixes/mustang assembly on wknds that we haven't done much as a family lately.
Maybe spring break week I can get some quality time in the evenings and get parolled for a weekend day? We'd have to see if Craigs up for it and what day he'd be free on a Sat/Sun. We just need some caulk scraping tools, wire wheels, cordless drills, rust converter and new caulk/caulk gun really not any cost other than the caulk.
Jon

"fordrule" said:
hey jon I think we need to have a stangfix meet/ cheer up craig day up in Ky....you can come pick me up on the way up there lol..or we can caravan...
Click to expand...
 
Well a lot has happened. Son's GF still going to the doc to figure what to do but at least it's not cancer.
I talked to the guy who owns the Rod shop that painted my car. One thing led to another and while we talked he offered an apprentice type deal for my son. I brought my son in today to talk with him and they are going to do it. He will start a two year deal where my son will basically work for free for a while until they owner sees what he is capable of. Then slowly start getting into jobs where the shop can bill for his time. During the two years he will teach him all aspects of building a rod from fab work to wiring, engine building, paint, the whole deal. He will slowly buy him tools that will be his. If it all works out after the two years he will offer a job at the shop. It sounds good and I know I will foot the bill for room and board, gas, all his expenses. The deal is better than the schools we were looking at. I figured to have a future I would enlist him into a technical college. He had been wanting to do something like that so we looked at schools. Figured we would get a loan. Anyway this deal is better, he will learn "real" skills and have "work" experience.
I trust this guy. When he did the work on my car he let me use his shop and tools to take the car all apart. He let me do things too to keep the cost down. he let me use his truck and trailer to haul it home. I've become pretty good friends with him. I think he will be good for my son. His guys have agreed to be a part of sharing their knowledge and experience too. My wife, son and I are pretty excited about this opportunity. The owner even told my son that after hours and weekends he could work on his own projects using the shop. I think it's going to be a pretty good deal in the long run.
 
thanks, I think its great. I know for the two years my son will not make any real money. He will have a dedicated teacher though, this guy is willing to take him under his wing and teach him everything. He said he doesn't have any boys and he has been talking to younger kids about this for a while. he said until we talked he was giving up hope that he would find someone. His daughter works for him in the office but he wants to develop some talent. he has had "kids" from various schools and has been disappointed at how little skills they actually have. My son is very patient, has grown up with me tinkering on cars and has a genuine interest in this as a career. It's like it was meant to be. This guy is realistic, he told my boy that some days he will sweeping and some days he will hate this guy. He is going to test him. Told him to not be afraid to challenge things and not jump into things but also not to think he knows how to do anything. He is going to start from scratch and push him but not hold his hand either. They talked for several hours and I just listened. I think it's going to be great.
 
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