daveSanborn
Active Member
First off.... I'm only posting this here instead of the Gum Flappers Lounge because I know that at some point I'm going to eventually lose control of my senses and probably use a few swear words. Swear words are acceptable in this lounge, not so much in Gum Flappers.
You have got to be FUCKING KIDDING ME!
Every couple of weeks we have a "team building" meeting towards the end of the work day at one of the local bars. It's usually the same 3-12 guys that show up and we get a chance to mingle socially away from the office. Sometimes we talk business, most of the time we're just drinking beer and shooting the shit.
One of the guys who shows up is a good friend of mine. Not my "best" friend, but in the top three. You may remember him dressed as the pirate from the Halloween pics I posted a couple months back. Today..... at our meeting.... one of the office hotties showed up and was hanging out with me and my pirate buddy. No big deal right? Office hottie says to my pirate buddy.... "so, I don't see you at the tanning salon much anymore, have you changed your days?"
What the fuck did she just say?
My buddy of almost 15 years uses a tanning bed?
How gay is that?
I proceeded to give my buddy shit for the next 30 minutes about using a tanning bed and am still astonished that a guy friend of mine would even consider something like this. Another friend of mine/ours came to his defense and tried to change the subject.
EPIC FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The conversation turned to the differnet types of massages available at the local day spa.... something about rocks vs. hot oil and the ability to choose whether or not you get your massage from a guy or a girl.
:barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf
:barf :barf :barf
a few dry heaves and then one more.....
:barf
Not that I'd ever be caught anywhere close to being inside a day spa, but if I were I can 100% guananfuckingtee you that there would be no choice to be made about some dude rubbing his hands on my back/ass/thighs.
NO FREAKING WAY!!!!!
Fast-forward one hour from leaving the bar....
My wife gets a text message from the office hottie asking for my pirate buddies cell phone number. I know exactly what she wanted it for.... to apologize to him for bringing up the whole tanning bed topic because I berated him into oblivion over it.
So I call my buddy first to see if it's okay if I give his cell number to office hottie. He says....
Him - "Sure, but don't tell my wife about it."
Me - "About what?"
Me - "About giving office hottie your phone number? Seriously?"
Him - "Yes, that and the whole meeting at the bar....."
Me - "What meeting? You mean our bi-monthly meeting?"
Him - "Yeah"
Me - "Does your wife not know that we meet at the bar a couple times a month for one hour and hang out?"
Him - "No, she wouldn't understand and I'd get shit from her over it."
Me - "Is this because office hottie showed up?"
Him - "No, she doesn't know about any of the meetings we've had for the past few months since we started doing it"
Me - " Okay, sure no problem, see you tomorrow."
Click.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Who the fuck is in such an insecure juvenile relationship that an argument would ensue if you meet your......99% of the time.... guy buddies from the office at the bar for 2 beers twice a month? We are at the bar usually less than an hour..... there are NO other patrons there besides us. The place is dead.... it's not like we're out chasing tail on a Saturday night twice a month... this is 4 to 5 PM.... on a Tuesday.
So as of today I'm looking for a new "team". The "team building" meeting has been very enlightening. I've learned that I'm officially on the prowl for new team-mates. As a matter of fact, office hottie seems pretty cool... we (my wife and I) have plans to go out partying with them for New Years Eve.
I expressed my concerns on this matter to my wife and she informs me that a LOT of our "run around with crowd" guy friends use tanning booths. Including office hottie's husband.... who as I recall also wears ear-rings in each ear.
:barf :barf....................... :barf
Son of a bitch..... he's crossed off the list before he even gets into "my circle".
I may have to broaden/expand my "new friends search" area.... maybe even requiring me to move to a different state. I understand that if I move to Texas I'll have to permanently remove the tailgate from my pickup truck, is this true? I can lose the tailgate if that's what it's going to take....
Do I just throw it away or what?
You have got to be FUCKING KIDDING ME!
Every couple of weeks we have a "team building" meeting towards the end of the work day at one of the local bars. It's usually the same 3-12 guys that show up and we get a chance to mingle socially away from the office. Sometimes we talk business, most of the time we're just drinking beer and shooting the shit.
One of the guys who shows up is a good friend of mine. Not my "best" friend, but in the top three. You may remember him dressed as the pirate from the Halloween pics I posted a couple months back. Today..... at our meeting.... one of the office hotties showed up and was hanging out with me and my pirate buddy. No big deal right? Office hottie says to my pirate buddy.... "so, I don't see you at the tanning salon much anymore, have you changed your days?"
What the fuck did she just say?
My buddy of almost 15 years uses a tanning bed?
How gay is that?
I proceeded to give my buddy shit for the next 30 minutes about using a tanning bed and am still astonished that a guy friend of mine would even consider something like this. Another friend of mine/ours came to his defense and tried to change the subject.
EPIC FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The conversation turned to the differnet types of massages available at the local day spa.... something about rocks vs. hot oil and the ability to choose whether or not you get your massage from a guy or a girl.
:barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf :barf
:barf :barf :barf
a few dry heaves and then one more.....
:barf
Not that I'd ever be caught anywhere close to being inside a day spa, but if I were I can 100% guananfuckingtee you that there would be no choice to be made about some dude rubbing his hands on my back/ass/thighs.
NO FREAKING WAY!!!!!
Fast-forward one hour from leaving the bar....
My wife gets a text message from the office hottie asking for my pirate buddies cell phone number. I know exactly what she wanted it for.... to apologize to him for bringing up the whole tanning bed topic because I berated him into oblivion over it.
So I call my buddy first to see if it's okay if I give his cell number to office hottie. He says....
Him - "Sure, but don't tell my wife about it."
Me - "About what?"
Me - "About giving office hottie your phone number? Seriously?"
Him - "Yes, that and the whole meeting at the bar....."
Me - "What meeting? You mean our bi-monthly meeting?"
Him - "Yeah"
Me - "Does your wife not know that we meet at the bar a couple times a month for one hour and hang out?"
Him - "No, she wouldn't understand and I'd get shit from her over it."
Me - "Is this because office hottie showed up?"
Him - "No, she doesn't know about any of the meetings we've had for the past few months since we started doing it"
Me - " Okay, sure no problem, see you tomorrow."
Click.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Who the fuck is in such an insecure juvenile relationship that an argument would ensue if you meet your......99% of the time.... guy buddies from the office at the bar for 2 beers twice a month? We are at the bar usually less than an hour..... there are NO other patrons there besides us. The place is dead.... it's not like we're out chasing tail on a Saturday night twice a month... this is 4 to 5 PM.... on a Tuesday.
So as of today I'm looking for a new "team". The "team building" meeting has been very enlightening. I've learned that I'm officially on the prowl for new team-mates. As a matter of fact, office hottie seems pretty cool... we (my wife and I) have plans to go out partying with them for New Years Eve.
I expressed my concerns on this matter to my wife and she informs me that a LOT of our "run around with crowd" guy friends use tanning booths. Including office hottie's husband.... who as I recall also wears ear-rings in each ear.
:barf :barf....................... :barf
Son of a bitch..... he's crossed off the list before he even gets into "my circle".
I may have to broaden/expand my "new friends search" area.... maybe even requiring me to move to a different state. I understand that if I move to Texas I'll have to permanently remove the tailgate from my pickup truck, is this true? I can lose the tailgate if that's what it's going to take....
Do I just throw it away or what?