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Most definitely politically incorrect, racist and offensive jokes

Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

"lethal289" said:
20 years ago we had Reagan as president. We also had johnny cash, and bob hope. Now Obama is president and we have no cash and no hope. :wtf
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I hope I get you as a WE this year, I have a beat up speak-n-spell that you desperately need!
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

A scientific breakthrough has discovered that the female gender can carry intelligent cells,






Unfortunately, 95% of them spit it out...
 
Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Why does a woman have two sets of lips? One set to tell you off with, and the other to make you forget you're mad.

What do a gynecologist and a pizza boy have in common? They can smell it but they can't eat it!

fd
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes


Remember the 7 qualities for the perfect girlfriend...

Beautiful, Intelligent, Gentle, Thoughtful, Innocent, Trustworthy, Sensible.





Or in other words........... B.I.G.T.I.T.S.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Grrr, I got the Loving, Intelligent, Laughable, Thoughtful, Innocent, Trustworthy, Sensible woman.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

"blue65coupe" said:
Grrr, I got the Loving, Intelligent, Laughable, Thoughtful, Innocent, Trustworthy, Sensible woman.
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Hey, me too.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

"blue65coupe" said:
Grrr, I got the Loving, Intelligent, Laughable, Thoughtful, Innocent, Trustworthy, Sensible woman.
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Mine's Honest, Understanding, Gracious, Eccentric, Thoughtful, Innocent, Trustworthy, Sensible woman :yah
:part
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

"sgtjunior" said:
Mine's Honest, Understanding, Gracious, Eccentric, Thoughtful, Innocent, Trustworthy, Sensible woman :yah
:part
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:wop


I'm calling BS.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

I'm with Mark. You probably typed that from your mom's basement.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

What is that food that women eat that makes them not want to have sex?



Oh Yeah, Wedding Cake.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.






I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!
 
Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Just heard on the radio that there is already trouble in the McCartney marriage. Evidently the new wife is spending twice as much money on shoes as the last one.
Yes, and I understand having trouble deciding when asked to put her best foot forward.

fd
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

A Romanian, a Jew and a Somali under a tree.

A caterpillar gets on the Romanian's shoulder.

The Romanian throws the caterpillar at the Jew, the Jew throws the caterpillar at the Somali, the Somali picks up the caterpillar and eats it.

Another caterpillar gets on the Romanian, the Romanian throws it at the Jew, the Jew picks it up and ask the Somali: "Do you want to buy a caterpillar ? "
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

My turn. I'll try and be all-inclusive.

Q: Why are the palms of Black people's hands white?
A: Because they were all leaned up against cop cars when God spray-painted.

This Black guy walks into a pub with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder.
"Wow!" says the barman, "That really is something. Where'd you get it?".
"Africa" says the parrot.

Q: Why are camels called "Ships of the Desert"?
A: Because they're full of Muslim semen.

Q: What's a Jewish dilemma?
A: Free ham.

Q: What's six miles long and goes four miles per hour?
A. A Mexican funeral with only one set of jumper cables.

Q: What do you call a Jewish homosexual?
A: A He-blew.

Stevie Wonder is walking down the aisle of the supermarket, and he's swinging his cane about, knocking boxes off the shelves on the right, knocking boxes off the shelves on the left, knocking more boxes off the shelves on the right...
...and the store manager comes running up to see what's going on, carefully steps over all the boxes strewn everywhere, sees it's Stevie Wonder - so he says "Can I help you?".
"No," says Stevie "I'm just looking".
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Did you hear about Sarah Palin getting offered a million dollars to pose in Playboy? And Michelle Obama got offered 50 bucks to pose in National Geographic.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

A Muslim dies and goes up to heaven.

He`s stopped at the Pearly Gates by St Peter who says "Sorry, but we don`t allow Muslims into Heaven"

"What?" replies the Muslim, "and Why Not?"

"Well ... we just don`t"

The Muslim complains and carries on until St Peter gets fed up.

"Well," says St Peter "have you ever done anything good in your life?"

"Ummm" the Muslim replies. "Yeah, the other day a lady stopped me on the street collecting for a children`s charity so I gave her 10 dollars.

Last week I donated 10 dollars to the Cancer Society and a couple of weeks ago a tramp asked me if I could spare any money so I gave him 10 dollars also."

"Alright then" says St Peter "let me go and have a quick word with God."

Five minutes later St Peter returns and says to the Muslim.

"Listen, I`ve spoken with God and he agrees with me."



"Here`s your 30 bucks back ... now take a hike ...."
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

An illegal alien, a muslim and a communist walk into a bar........








The bartender asks: "What can I get you, Mr. President?"
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

"SAC69" said:
An illegal alien, a muslim and a communist walk into a bar........

The bartender asks: "What can I get you, Mr. President?"
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Now that I've cleaned the monitor, I can say:
That's some funny chit.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

After Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my dyslexic friend.



He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.

I said to him, "You idiot! You're supposed to turn your clock back!
 
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