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Most definitely politically incorrect, racist and offensive jokes

Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Whitney Houston to star in her new film. The Bodybag.

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Whitney Houston won an impressive six Grammys in fourteen years.

Slightly less impressive was her recent attempt at six grams in fourteen minutes.

fd
 
Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

"FordDude" said:
Whitney Houston to star in her new film. The Bodybag.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Whitney Houston won an impressive six Grammys in fourteen years.

Slightly less impressive was her recent attempt at six grams in fourteen minutes.

fd
Click to expand...

Dude, you are going to hell for sure. Save me a seat.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

"FordDude" said:
Whitney Houston won an impressive six Grammys in fourteen years.

Slightly less impressive was her recent attempt at six grams in fourteen minutes.

fd
Click to expand...

lmao
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Mrs. Murphy and Mrs. Cohen had been longtime close friends. But,
being old-fashioned, each went to a retirement home of her own
respective religion.

It was not long before Mrs. Murphy felt lonesome for Mrs. Cohen, so
one day she asked to be driven to the Jewish Home to
When she arrived she was greeted with open arms, hugs, and kisses.

Mrs. Murphy said, "Don't be holdin' back, Mrs. Cohen, how do you like
it here?"

Mrs. Cohen went on and on about the wonderful food, the facility and
the caretakers.
Then, with a twinkle in her eye, she said, "But the best thing is
that I now have a boyfriend."

Mrs. Murphy said, "Now isn't that wonderful! Tell me all about it."

Mrs. Cohen said, "After lunch, we go up to my room and sit on the
edge of the bed.
I let him touch me on the top, and then on the bottom, and then we
sing Jewish songs."

Mrs. Murphy said, "For sure it's a blessing. I'm so glad for you,
Mrs. Cohen."

Mrs. Cohen said, "And how is it with you, Mrs. Murphy?"

Mrs. Murphy said it was also wonderful at her new facility, and that
she also had a boyfriend.

Mrs. Cohen said, "Good for you! So what do you do?"

Mrs. Murphy said, "We also go up to my room after lunch and sit on
the edge of the bed.
I let him touch me on top, and then I let him touch me down below."

Mrs. Cohen said, "Yes? And then...?"

Mrs. Murphy said, "Well, since we don't know any Jewish songs, we
fuck."
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Capacity Explained

capacity.jpg
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

At the end of a tiny deserted bar in downtown Detroit sat a huge black man.

He was having a few beers, when a short, well dressed, and obviously gay man walked in and sat beside him.

After three or four beers, the gay man got the courage to say a few words

to the big black man.

Leaning over towards him, he whispered, "Do you want a blow job?"

At this, the massive black man leaped up with fire in his eyes, and smacked

the crap out of the gay man, knocking him swiftly off his stool. He proceeded

to beat him all the way out of the bar, before leaving him bruised and battered

in the parking lot, and returning to his seat.

Amazed, the bartender quickly brought over another beer to the black man,

and said, "I've never seen you react like that. "What did he say to you?"

"I don't know," the black man replied.

"Something about a job."

fd
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

The New 2012 Ford
Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.

Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.

Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.

New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age. Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.

This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace it each year.
 
Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

When Joe Biden first heard that the lead Monkee was dead.

He ran around the White House yelling...."I'm the 'fuckin' president"

Imagine his disappointment.

fd
 
Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Robot Caddies

An old man goes to a new golf coarse to check it out. "I would like to play 9 holes and I need one cart and a caddy". The counter man says we don't have any human caddies. We now only have robot caddies.

Reluctantly, the old man says ok give me one of those damn robot caddies.
He then plays one of the best games he has ever played! The robot caddie tells him the proper wind direction and speed, the correct club to use, and it even jumps in the water to retrieve his ball!

The man returns to the counter very excited and declares "I will be back this weekend and I'm bringing 3 of my friends! They will LOVE these new robot caddies"!

The next weekend the old man shows up with 3 friends as promised and says "we would like 2 carts and 4 of your robot caddies. We want to do 18 holes today."

The counter man says "Sorry, we had to get rid of the robot caddies."


"What?! Why" says the old man.

"Well" the counterman continued, "Remember how the robot caddies were shiny chrome?"

"Yes." answered the old man.

"Well some of the other golfers complained about being blinded by the sun reflection."


"So why don't you paint the robots black?" Said the old man.

The counter man replied "We did, and the next day 2 of them got busted breaking into the pro shop and the rest of them never showed up for work!"

fd
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Obama's daughter asked her dad, "Dad, what's democracy?"
"Well, that's when whites work and we get all the benefits from it!"
"But dad, aren't the white people pissed off about that?"
"Sure they are, but that's called 'racism'"
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

"scedd" said:
Obama's daughter asked her dad, "Dad, what's democracy?"
"Well, that's when whites work and we get all the benefits from it!"
"But dad, aren't the white people pissed off about that?"
"Sure they are, but that's called 'racism'"
Click to expand...
:wor :wor :wor :thu
 
Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

A Redneck went to the hospital as his wife was having a baby.

Upon arriving he sits down, and the nurse says, "Congratulations, your wife has had quins, 5 big baby boys."

The Redneck says, "I'm not surprised, I have a penis on me like a chimney."

The nurse replies, "You might want to consider getting it cleaned, the babies are black."

fd
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

spotted this one and had to share....
 

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Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Do you know why womens feet are so short?
So they can stand closer to the stove.
 
Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Son asked his mother the following question:

"Mum, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies,

"Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."

The son thanks his Mum and goes off to double-check this with his father.

"Dad why are wedding dresses white?"

The father looks at his son in surprise and says,


"Son, all household appliances come in white."

fd
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

I just got sacked from my job with Lifeline. Some guy called Abdul phoned and said, "I'm lying on the railway track
waiting for the train to come".

All I said was, "Remain calm and stay on the line..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SAD NEWS
Just heard our local Muslim optician has passed away. Asif Eyecare
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I stopped in to a Maccas outside Sydney.When I walked in, the girl serving me was wearing a burqah.
As I got closer I noticed it was quite dirty and tattered and a bit smelly.It actually put me off so I walked out and went across the road to Hungry Jacks.

I lined up again and there was another girl wearing a burqah. I was happy to see that it was clean and it actually was nicely decorated with beads and sequins. That's when I realised - the burqah's are Better at Hungry Jacks!
 
Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

In case you're wondering why the Trayvon Martin shooting is getting so much press....

It's because it's the first time in history a Black person has been shot while 'allegedly' not committing a crime.

fd
 
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