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Most definitely politically incorrect, racist and offensive jokes

Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Paddy was walking along the street during his once-in-a-lifetime visit to New York when he rounds a corner and there's a high rise building on fire.
Paddy, ever the kind-hearted and resourceful Irishman, runs up to the building to see if he can help and notices people trapped five stories up.
Paddy yells to the people, "I'm Patrick Sean Michael Fitzpatrick, an Irish Fire Fighter on holiday. I'm also a Rugby Union fullback! If you jump, I'll catch you!"
One lady, in desperation, jumps and sure enough Paddy catches her.
Then a man sees that Paddy catches the woman and jumps. Sure enough, Paddy catches him as well.
Then a black guy jumps out and crashes to the sidewalk. Paddy didn't even attempt to catch him.

Paddy looks up and yells, "Don't be throwin' the burnt ones...!!!!"

fd
 
Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says, "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine.

Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble."

The lady starts taking off her clothes but is interrupted by the doctor.

"No! No! Don't remove your clothes... Just stick out your tongue!"

fd
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

I was walking into Best Buy when I saw a midget walking out carrying a flat screen TV.

I asked him, "Are you going to be able to carry that TV by yourself?" He screams back, "Fuck you! It's an iPad!"
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Whats the goal of jewish football?
To get the quarter back.


How do you blind an Asian?
Put a steering wheel in front of them

Whats brown,shakes,has a thousand legs and arms and is 3 feet tall?
A Haitian hotel.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Maam, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

"DEL65" said:
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Maam, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I
Click to expand...

I don't get it :shrug
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Cut and paste demons again. I had to Google it to get the end.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Yes cut and paste issues that I can't seem to fix. Although it was funnier the other way, I'll end the suspense.

To paraphrase: The lady tells the cop she does not have a license, stole the car, and has a dead body in the trunk. The cop calls for back up.

A second office arrives to interview her. She tells him the first cop is a liar, because her license is valid, the car is hers, and there is no body. Then she tells the second cop, "I bet that asshole told you I was speeding too!"
 
Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

index.php


fd




What I have found with the cut and paste issues is that it will paste the punctuation just like you found it. If they are not the same it will just cut it off from that point. The quote marks " " if they angle a different way that can be a problem.
 
Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

The tennis-playing Williams sisters were recently discussing steroid use in the warm-up room before a doubles match.

"I think Dad might be slipping us steroids" whispered Serena.

"What makes you say that?" replied a stunned Venus.

"Well," started Serena embarrassingly, "I've started to grow hair on parts of my body that have never had hair before!"

"Shit... like where?" asked Venus.

"Like all over my balls!" replied Serena

fd
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Halloween

I'd like to dress up as the Obama Care website this Halloween but I just can't seem to make it work! :jerk

fd
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

Don't worry, it's not your fault..... :yah
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

A girl came home from a date. Her mother had waited up for her, and when the girl walked in the door, the mother noticed she had rice in her hair. “Sally,� she said, “you didn’t tell me you were going to a wedding.� “I didn’t mom,� Sally replied. “I was giving a blowjob to a Chinese guy and he threw up on me.�
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

"67 evil eleanor" said:
A girl came home from a date. Her mother had waited up for her, and when the girl walked in the door, the mother noticed she had rice in her hair. “Sally,� she said, “you didn’t tell me you were going to a wedding.� “I didn’t mom,� Sally replied. “I was giving a blowjob to a Chinese guy and he threw up on me.�
Click to expand...

LMAO :barf
 
Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

A ginger is showing off her new tattoo of a giant seashell on her inner thigh.

Her friends ask her why she would get such a tattoo in that location.

She responds, "It's really cool, if you put your ear up against it you can smell the ocean."

fd
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

I was working at Laguna Seca on the track crew years ago. It was race weekend and the shop was full of racers and wana-be racers. One of my work mates had a girlfriend with a toddler and they came by to visit. She didn't have much to say with all the guys standing around talking racing, she was standing off to one side. Her little boy was outside playing with the shop cat and came in to cuddle up to Mom. He was about waist high and when he got close to his Mom he said, " Mom, you smell like fish " . His nose was just at her crotch.

Pretty much cleared the room, we all tried real hard not to laugh, but we did. Her faced turned every shade of red and there was lot's of talk about that for the rest of the weekend.
 
Re: Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

lmao
 
Most definately politically incorect, racist and offensive jokes

A Muslim dies and goes to Heaven.


He knocks on the gates and St. Peter opens them.

"Yes?", asks St. Peter.


"I am here for Jesus", says the muslim.

St Peter turns around and shouts, "Jesus, your taxi's here"

fd
 
Jeff Fox worthy on Muslims:

1. If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor,
You may be a Muslim.

2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes,
You may be a Muslim.

3. If you have more wives than teeth,
You may be a Muslim.

4. If you wipe your bum with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean,
You may be a Muslim.

5. If you think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide,
You may be a Muslim.

6. If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared jihad against,
You may be a Muslim.

7. If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing,
You may be a Muslim.

8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs,
You may be a Muslim.

9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four,
You may be a Muslim.

10. If you find this offensive or racist and don't forward it,
You may be a Muslim.
I am sending it on as I don't find it offensive or racist...Just too funny!

fd
 
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