Joke of the day - Add your jokes here

[Aussie67]

The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. "Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded. "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any." The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's £30. Go and buy yourself some underwear."

Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she is wearing no undies. "Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?" She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me." He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's £20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!"

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she too, is naked under it. "Sweet mudder of Jesus, Aggie! Where the frig are yer drawers?" She too explains, "You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any." The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, "Well, fer the love of Jasus, 'n the sake of decency, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit."​

 

[Aussie67]

 

[Aussie67]

 

[Aussie67]

Read the first letter of each word after the word offended.

 

[Aussie67]

A man is in court for murder and the judge says, "You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the court says, "You b*stard."
The judge continues, "You are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a hammer."
Again the voice at the back of the court says, "You b*stard."
The judge says, "We cannot have any more of these outbursts from you. What is the problem?"
The man at the back of the court says, "Fifteen years I lived next door to that b*stard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one!"