Joke of the day - Add your jokes here

[FordDude]

Two immigrants from Haitian arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S.

One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well.

So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.'

The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.

"Which part did you get?"
fd

 

[Aussie67]

Murphy lost his eye in an accident. He couldn’t afford a glass eye, so he carved one out of wood. But he was so self-conscious that he never left the house. Finally, Paddy came over and forced him to go out. “There’s a dance over at the club. So what if one of your eyes is made out of wood?” “All right,” said Murphy, “but if anybody makes fun of me wooden eye I’m leaving.” He went to the dance and had a few pints, trying to build up his courage. Then he saw a woman standing alone in the corner. She was very attractive, but she had a hunchback. Murphy thought, “She’s worse off than me. I’ll ask her to dance and hopefully she will not notice me wooden eye.” He walked across the crowded dance floor and approached the girl. “Would you care to dance?” “Would I?!” she exclaimed. “That does it,” he shouted back at her, “Hunchback! Hunchback!”

 

[Aussie67]

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh… Killing any yet?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell them apart?"

He responded:

"3 were on a beer can and 2 were on the phone."